Lace & Adire III

I am trying to concentrate.
Ms Cesare knows my mind is not with her.
Still, I am taking notes without missing a beat.
I want to be with him so much, my whole body is tingling
I don't know how much longer I can wait.
It doesn't help that Tamara house a home that is softly lit.
The hues cast by her expensive Neimann Weeks lamp makes me think of skin slicked with sweat.
The fragrance of her pot pourri makes me imagine what his sheets would smell like.
My thighs are aching just to clamp down, trapping him inside of me.
"Catwalq?" Tamara's voice is soft but full of caution.
I am not paying attention. She is not finding it funny.
"I am sorry...?"
"Would you like to leave?"
I swallow. How can someone who says so little have the power to make me hear all?
"No, I am very much with you."
She nods. Her head turns slightly, a graceful and effortless return of her gaze to the paper in her hands. We are planning her trip to the Hamptons. A "meeting" with one of her clients.
"It's all so consuming, isn't it?" She says, her words seeming to float towards me in my daze.
My ears spring to attention.
"I am sorry?"
"It's all so consuming. Isn't it." she repeats, impaling me with her now green eyes. She changes her contacts so often, it is amazing. Green for her is the most disconcerting. And pretty.
"I am not sure I follow..." I stammer.
"Something tells me he is not an average man. Now, is he?"
It takes me all of three seconds to decide whether to lie or allow her some insight into my life. I mean, it's not like I don't know what she does for a living. But we are not friends. She is a courtesan and I am her assistant.
I nod. He is very non average. I am petrified to have anyone see just how he is making me feel, so I look at my feet. Tamara chuckles.
"You are a sly one, you. " she sighs "Enjoy this. You don't know how hard it is to have that feeling and keep it."
I look at her lowered head as she returns to her writing. Who is she really? How did she become this woman? This woman, men and in some cases women pay thousands of dollars for her company. This woman, with whom I have never seen a companion...a partner. This woman who in her silence appears so unbending, formal, and yet so sensual and vulnerable.
"I know." I tell her, because I do know how long I have waited for this.
"Tell him that if he misbehaves, I know a guy who can make him swim with the fishes."
I laugh out loud because the way she says it is so deadpan that it is hilarious.
She smiles at me and I can see why all want her.
"Catwalq"
"Yes?"
"Pay attention."