What I did yesterday instead of homework...the whole day

1.

Starring: Dele Odule

Directed by: Mustapha Bakry

Production Company: Millenium Films and Otolo Films Production

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A politician's blind ambition for a senatorial post leads him to indulge in psychic practices that jeopardises his family's spiritual, emotional, physical and economic well being. This is only the first installment, a fact that was apparently not put forward at the point of purchase.

Grade: C+. I prefer Yoruba movies overall and the storyline was somewhat credible. However, if you have a low tolerance for psychic-ly toned features, you might not like it. And neither did I. I cannot take so much of going to witch doctors and doing all sorts of crazy shenanigans to get things to go my way. Still, an interesting flick.

Should you watch it: Yes. Make sure you have the sequel.

2.

Starring: Van Vicker, Psalm Adjetefio, Naana Hayfod, zGottfred Opoku Mensah, Bernard Poku and Michael Afranie.

Directed by: C'Emeka Uba

Production Company: Miracle Films

Language: English

Country: Ghanian

Synopsis/Plot: A wealthy man comes becomes benefactor to a poor young woman with whom he desires a relationship. Initially she returns his affection out of gratitude for her change in social status but that soon wears off and she desires to break free from the smothering constraints of her relationship. Problem: old man won't let go. He holds on and with tragic consequences...

My analysis: Oh dear, where do I begin. Is it with the lead female character who was supposedly so impoverished and yet was spotting green contacts, acrylic tips and a bull's eye tatoos? Or with the public assualt scenes where everyone just seemed to be going on with their business even though gun shots had supposedly been fired? Or with the wardrobe choices that made almost all the women look like walking drag queens? Or the fact that the makeup artist was scrimping so much that she could not layer on the foundation and concealer to hide the leading lady's horrible acne ravaged skin which apparently her character could not find a solution to even with an elevation in socio-economic status? Don't even let me start on the weaves.....

My grade: D. Simple, uneventful and a collection of poor performances poorly matched with good ones. Van was ok as usual. Psalm was his usual, huge self with speech that made me think if the poor guy had once had a stroke. The only character that stood out a little bit was of the woman who played his wife. See her weep her way through an entire movie in Crime to Christ as the christian mother. I forget her name in Desperate Desire...

Should you watch it?: If someone gives it to you for free.

3.

Starring: Sola Asedeko, Ayo Badmus & Toyin Adewale

Directed by: Babatunde Olaoye

Production Company: Olaoye Global Concept

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis/Plot: (Pulled from the DVD cover...I kid you not...my reactions in red italics)

"O'npe is the story of a baroness Toyin Adewale who deals on (m'kay...we deal on something now?)female trafficking Queen )Sola Asedeko) the leader of the ladies group met a man (Ayo Badmus) that wanted to change her life, she was caught between the pastor and the baroness who does not want to compromise her business. The die (as per death or dye as per colour?) was now cast for queen to struggle for her survival or get killed by the wicked baroness. Happy viewing (thanks. abi?)."

Grade: I think you can figure that out for yourself from what is written above. To go any further will be too much work and frankly I don't think anyone besides myself is reading this blog so....

Should you watch it?: If you have nothing better to do and someone forgot it in your house or general vicinity....

4.

Starring: Van Vicker, fred Amugi, Kojo Damenya, Nadia Buari, Kalsum Sinare & Juliet Ibrahim

Directed by: Daniel Ademinakor

Production Comany: Aa Production

Language: English

Country: Ghana

Synopsis: Princess takes a drug rap for her husband thinking he is innocent. She comes out of jail and her husband now has some crazed infatuation for her younger sister. Being a high ranking military officer, he has the power and training to make things happen his way irrespective of the colatteral damage. Little sister, Jasmine is involved with fine guy and is oblivious to it all. She is more concerned with avoiding fine guy's ex girl friend who still believes she is in a relationship with fine guy. Drama ensues all over the place.

My grade: B+. Fred Amugi was good. Kalsum kind of lost me. Nadia and Van already know how to look good together so imagine every good shared scene they ever had, and replicate it here. Juliet Ibrahim, I am convinced needs acting lessons and instructions or at the very least, a good wardrobe change...There were some very good moments of suspense and my aunt who was watching with me even shouted. I didn't, she did....

Should you watch it: Yep, go buy it and watch it.

5.

Starring: Femi Branch, Yemi Afolabi, Binta Ayo Mogaji, Kayode Odumosu (Pa Kasumu) & Rotimi Makinde

Directed by: ....

Production Company: Bakky Adeoye Film Productions & Mustoy Film Productions

Language: Yoruba (with subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: Six Words. DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN. Yoruba version. Plagiarised completely

My grade: G- for innovation

B+ for quality of performances

Should you watch it?: If you could not follow the original because you do not speak English well, the producers have thankfully got your back.

6.

Starring: Funke Akindele, Lola Alao, Bimbo Akinsanya, Soji Taiwo, Yinka Quadri, Eniola Afolayan and others....

Directed by: Nojeem Adisa

Production Company: Emma Films Limited

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: (Pulled from the jacket cover...this one is on another level)

Adisa (Yinka Quadri) Murdered a mmanager whom he driver to and his wife, slandering (rotflmbao...slandering in different directions? where is my dictionary?) their children and housemaid (Lola Ajao) in Different directions. Now a notorius armed robber baroon yinka Quadri has three set of gangs for different operations. Grown up Kubura leaves with their former housemaid (Lola Ajao), suraju is now a musician while ramon, who has been given a mystical power by the witches has vow to stop every robbery operation that may occur in the community. The stage is set, ready for battle. The dogs are in pursuance of the tigers. (ok, now we are hunting British style?) Yinka Quadri, Funke Akindele, Bimbo Akinsanya are the Tiger,(so p'olorun) Lola Alao, ramon, Ayo Badmus, Police and the community are the dogs. Eee pa Aja ma Nlepa ekun oooo hin-in-in. (whatever the hell that means).

My Grade: well, after laughing at all that. I will give it a D. Nothing spectacular. I cannot even remember if I watched it all or it still had a sequel because all I know is that of what I saw, nothing major stuck except maybe Soji Taiwo whose razzness is some sort of comic genius.

Should you watch it?: we have to support the artists. they too are trying to feed.

7.

Starring: Bukky Ajayi and a whole bunch of Yoruba actors

Directed by: Lasun Ray ( who also has a cameo at the end)

Production company: Lasun Ray Productions, Toymax film holdings & Dynamic Pictures

Language: Yoruba (with Subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: I think I am going to leave this for someone else to tell me what this was about. I was sleepy and completely did not get how some woman was so rich, she pilfered a husband off another chick who had been financially supporting his broke, dependent ass and that of his parents. The man moves in, wahala( problems) begin and then the plot is all over the place.

My grade: H-. I don't even begin to know who would give funding for this....God, what I would do to start my own production outfit.

Should you watch it: after what i have said above, you are on your own.

8.

Starring: Baba Wande, Ayo Badmus and a whole bunch of amateurs

Directed by: Sola Aderounmu

Production Company: Brim Faze Productions, MAB Movie and Music Company

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A couple are plunged into heartache when their first pregnancy turns into a two year ordeal. The wife's quest to be rid of her burden lands in so many precarious situations that almost tears both her family and that of her husband apart, not to talk of her marriage.

My grade: C. Very psychic. Baba Wande lit up the screen in all his scenes. Unfortunately, they were few and far between. The experienced actors were evident and comfortable and the effort of the amateurs was evident...maybe too much.

Should you watch it: yes, if only to watch the scene where Baba Wande meets his daughters suitor for some serious laughter.

9.

Starring: Adebayo Salami, Funsho Adeolu, Any Akhigbe, Tunde Dickson and some other famous Yoruba actors

Directed by: Kunle Afod

Production company: Isolak Ventures, Alhaji Isola Saheed, Dickson Production, Mama Mistura Production

Language: Yoruba (with subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A cautionary tale of what could happen when a parent or parents exercise too much control over their children's lives and push them into relationships and lifestyles that they either would not choose or do not want but have to concede to because of the parental hold.

Grade: B-. The intimacy between the love birds were a bit nauseating but in all, it was a relatively good movie.

Should you watch it: yes.

So, I have dropped a few points in my IQ from some of the movies in listed above and have done absolutely no homework...but hey, one has to make some sacrifice....