BANI PRODUCTIONS (THE MAKING OF...)

Use Your Bed Nets. Keep Mosquitoes out.

2010-04-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Recently shot and directed by me on Canon 7d Mark II
First clip, edited by me
Second clip edited by a professional

RemiFoundation.org from stoiQa on Vimeo.

Lexus VCAM Submission...you can view it now

2010-03-04T13:48:00.000-08:00

Last month, I entered a contest for the Lexus VCAM challenge on Current TV. My team did not win but we were one of the twenty two finalists out of over a hundred submissions. Here is our submission. Please view it, vote and comment at the bottom....

Lexus VCAM Submission

2010-03-04T13:46:00.000-08:00

Silent Scandal

2009-12-29T06:41:00.001-08:00

I very rarely recommend Nigerian movies but I feel quite confident recommending this one. Starring Genevieve Nnaji, Majid Michel and Ebele Osaro, this is a contemporary tale revolving around Jessica Obi, a successful and uptight entrepreneur, her self destructive daughter and the man who brings love, perspective and a whole load of drama to their lives.

The movie is the brain child of a newcomer to the Nollywood production, a woman by the name of Vivian Ejike. I am looking forward to more of what she has to offer. No, she is no Cameron or Scorcese but that is because she is only beginning. It was an enjoyable and engaging film, the technical hitches can be overlooked for the story and for the wardrobe choices...

Happy Holidays

2009-12-28T14:52:00.000-08:00

It has been one roller coaster of a year and for one, my blogs have received some of the most neglectful (if that is a word) treatment possible...but still, they remain for me an outlet for my musings, frustrations and experimental conversations.

I wish you a wonderful holiday and hope that I can keep my new year's resolution to reinvent my blog(s)....

Smooches

Thirst

2009-09-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I see a movie that completely revolutionalises the way I see cinema. I have discovered Korean director Park Chan Wook, whose latest movie, Thirst is a thrilling look into the world of forbidden desire through the eyes of a priest turned Vampire.

The movie stars Song Kang Ho, an Asian cinematic heavy weight and casting favourite of Wook's paired pitted against the captivating newcomer, Kim Ok Bin whose performance had me mesmerised, tantalised and scandalised all at once.

A must see and for me, a must have on DVD

The stoning of Soraya M

2009-07-08T21:46:00.001-07:00

The location was a remote village in 1980s Iran, where a French Iranian reporter's vehicle breaks down on his way to the border. While waiting for it to be fixed, he is approached by a Zahrah, a woman with a secret to share and whom the entire village intimates to him is unstable. Her story which takes him back over the preceding months and culminating in a most horrendous finale only the night before exposes corruption, religious manipulation and abuse of women's human rights in the country.

Starring Shoreh Agdashloo, Jim Caviezel and a graceful, Mozhan Marno, The Stoning of Soraya M is a chilling look at the treatment of women in areas where the justice system is based on a patriachal religious doctrine. What makes it more horrifying to comprehend is the fact that these practices are still being carried out today, with very little indication that there will be a change in sight. If you come from any country where Sharia laws are practiced in any form, The Stoning of Soraya M is an eye opener into the many ways that its laws can be manipulated to prey on women and those who have no rights under the law.

Not to be misconstrued as an attack on Islam or its practices, the movie starts slow, yet ends with a heartbreaking finish. This movie is a must see, for everyone, everywhere because this could very well happen where you live.

Catwalq Grade: A-

This is My Africa

2009-06-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

In less than an hour, This is My Africa, a 2008 documentary presentation serves up a light-hearted, interesting an attempt at an introduction to the continent, her people and many cultures. The first part of an intended trilogy offers insightful commentary from a diverse selection of Africans based in the UK as they share what it is that Africa means to them.

Filmmaker, Zina Saro-Wiwa was present at a recent screening for the film at the Busboys & Poets restaurant in DC and shared her experiences with putting the project together and her intended plans for the distribution of the project. AfricaLab, the producing partners for the film intend for the project to serve as a portal through which Africans can connect with the rest of the world and vice versa. This is an attempt to celebrate Africa's identity on a global platform and the documentary was a commendable attempt though it did not go indepth into alot of the facets of African identity. Being that This is My Africa, is part of a trilogy, it can be hoped that future projects will cater to these missing aspects.

Visit, the website for more information and producer contacts to get involved with the future development of the project.

Nnena Okore's first exhibit in Nigeria

2009-06-16T17:31:00.000-07:00

What's on TV...Old, New and stuff I just discovered...haphazard records

2009-04-01T23:32:00.000-07:00

ON CABLE
HBO
(My fave premium channel of all time)
I have been off cable for a while and so have not had the chance to catch up on my fave shows.
1. IN TREATMENT, Season 2 should be premiering this sunday.

2. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency is up and running: I have not seen any episodes yet and I am nursing a small beef over this project. As much as I love Jill Scott, are you trying to tell me that HBO could not find an African actress for the lead? Haba! Mnet managed to put on Tinsel and it is amazing. There's also Jacob's Cross on The Africa Channel; both with Africans in the lead. ....I keep my retorts for later....

SHOWTIME
I have near OD'd on the content on this channel.

1. United States of Tara: Multiple personality disorder has never been so sexy, funny and hauntingly sad. This show follows Tara and her family made dysfunctional by the fact that she suffers from the disorder which causes her to adopt personalities as a coping mechanism for stress and tragedy. A must see....

2. Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Season II just ended and you can catch re runs ON Demand. A must see, if you love erotica and first person, voice over narratives.

3. Tudor: Three words....Jonathan Rhys Meyers. C'es Finit. This man had me at Bend it like Beckham and has refused to release me from my throes of love.

4. The L Word: Show's final season wrapped, Jenny dead and Catwalq glad cos I had begun to seriously despise that character. I wonder what she is really like in real life.

Coming...
Nurse Jackie: can't wait

REGULAR TV/BASIC CABLE

NBC:
1.ER is coming to an end. That show has been running for fifteen seasons....can you imagine if Checkmate had run for fifteen years? Do you know how many more careers would have been launched and how many more better Nigerian actors and actresses we would have? The closest thing we have to a long running series is Super Story but that is a themed mini-series.
Here's a big thank you to the late Micheal Crichton for bringing the inner workings of a city's trauma center to our living rooms. The irony is that the technology at this fictional hospital while not so spectacularly advanced would put our best hospital in the country to shame...so sad...

2.Lipstick Jungle
When it was airing current episodes, I could not be bothered. I wrote it off as a spin off of Sex and the City--which I hated--and an attempt by a network to capitalise on a mission slot in programming. Then I lost my TV and had to rely on the internet for news and entertainment. Now, I am so hooked, stalking the site to see if and when the new season has arrived. I am so hooked, I have changed my opinion on New York and removed it from my "Hell-No List of Places to live" and started applying to jobs there in the hopes that I too can be like the glamorous trio of Nico, Wendy and Victory. Only for me to find out that the show has been cancelled. Sometimes, I don't know what these network executives are thinking...
The show follows the lives and loves of three best high powered executive best friends managing their lives against the backdrop of New York...definitely joining Footballers Wives in my DVD collection

ABC:
1. Castle: A bestselling author looking to revamp his writing style teams up with a femal detective. When I saw the previews, I was ready to barf. Now, all I want to do is move into Rick Castle's luxury condominium with him, his hilarious mother and eerily mature daughter...loving it.

2. Scrubs: There is this new addition to the cast and all I will say is "Let the stalking begin!!!!"

3. Better of Ted: Veridian Dynamics, a global corporation specialising in manufacturing products...it is funny and somehow creepy cos I am sure there is some company just like that...

4. Grey's Anatomy: Same old, same old.

FOX
1. House: I love me some Greg.

2. Lie to me: Suprisingly enjoyable scientific fare on human lie detectors.

3. Bones: Did not like the show previously but caught up on past episodes and now, I am hooked.

4. Fringe: This show is possibly one of the most interesting shows I have seen in a loong time. It is thrilling and a bit scary and the production design is amazing. Special effects are off the hook.

5. Dollhouse: Kind of ok show...has some weak spots but everyone is so pretty. You can watch the show just for the wardrobe and production design alone.

CBS
1. CSI: Errrr....still there

2. CSI NY: My new addiction

3. CSI Miami: off my list. the show is now bordering on ridiculous

4. Criminal Minds: Saw a creepy episode recently...oddly enough, there are no episodes online...bah. And neither are Without a Trace or Cold Case...

USA NETWORK.

1. LEVERAGE! LEVERAGE!! LEVERAGE!!!: Nuff said

2. Trust me: Let's just say, I sent out a whole batch of applications to advertising firms because of this show...no one's called though...yet...sob

3. Starter Wife: Thought it was stupid but Debra Messing is much better here than on Will and Grace.

THE CW NETWORK
1. Should I be ashamed to say that I secretly watch Gossip Girl?

To be continued.....

Coming Soon....

2009-03-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

www.cinemarketplace.com

Ghajini

2009-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

picture from here

Ghajini, starring Aamir Khan, is about a man who suffers from anterograde amnesia (short term memory loss) after a violent attack which resulted in the death of his beloved fiancee. He then sets out on a violent quest for revenge on those responsible; a group headed by the evil Ghajini. The trouble is that, he can only remember as far back as the last 15 mins. Armed with polaroids, a pen and camera, he forges ahead with the result being three hours of blood and gore woven artfully into a love story. The movie also stars new comer Asin Thottumkal as the leading female and main love interest with amazing supporting roles by Jiah Khan, Riyaz Khan, Tinnu Annand and Pradeep Rawat as the title character, Ghajini

Should you see it: Absolutely. The story line is well told. The acting is amazing. You will have to sit through six songs but with a soundtrack from A R Rahman, the music is delightful.

However: There is alot of violence and the fact that it is rated PG 13 in the United States should not fool you. It is not suitable for children or anyone under the age of 16. It is also all of the traditional three hours of a typical Bollywood production. It is also a remake of a version done in Tamil that so many critics are saying is much better but as I have neither seen that nor the American movie, Momento, that it supposedly mirrored after, I have to say that I very much loved this one. I did not mind the length because there was not a dull moment through out even though my thirty six year old aunt and I periodically grabbed for each other during the violent scenes.

I could also have done away with some of the wardrobe choices for Aamir but since I love him to bits, I endure and invite you to go see it

Grade: A-

A new year and a new set of projects

2009-01-01T11:36:00.000-08:00

I am going set up a schedule for each month for projects that I will either be undertaking or reviewing.
This month I will review:
Aminata
Player Number #10
Waste Collectors
The Curious case of Benjamin Button....

A secret project in the works that should be as cool as 14th and Serenity....

Welcome to 2009 and here's to all the fun we are going to have...at least I am

Someone to watch: Saheed Balogun

2008-11-30T19:32:00.000-08:00

Saheed Balogun is a Yoruba speaking Nigerian actor that I have been paying some close attention to for some time now.

I am watching one of his latest experimental projects "Modupe Temi" in which he stars with only one cast member in a character study on a marriage and its disintegration.

I must bow my head in shame and say that I have watched it on "Youtube".

The acting is a bit too much but I loved the opening credits...seems someone is making attempts to do something different.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

2008-11-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

PICTURE FROM

REVIEW COMING SOON
PRELIMINARY GRADE A+

One just has to go see it...

What I did yesterday instead of homework...the whole day

2008-11-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

Starring: Dele Odule

Directed by: Mustapha Bakry

Production Company: Millenium Films and Otolo Films Production

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A politician's blind ambition for a senatorial post leads him to indulge in psychic practices that jeopardises his family's spiritual, emotional, physical and economic well being. This is only the first installment, a fact that was apparently not put forward at the point of purchase.

Grade: C+. I prefer Yoruba movies overall and the storyline was somewhat credible. However, if you have a low tolerance for psychic-ly toned features, you might not like it. And neither did I. I cannot take so much of going to witch doctors and doing all sorts of crazy shenanigans to get things to go my way. Still, an interesting flick.

Should you watch it: Yes. Make sure you have the sequel.

Starring: Van Vicker, Psalm Adjetefio, Naana Hayfod, zGottfred Opoku Mensah, Bernard Poku and Michael Afranie.

Directed by: C'Emeka Uba

Production Company: Miracle Films

Language: English

Country: Ghanian

Synopsis/Plot: A wealthy man comes becomes benefactor to a poor young woman with whom he desires a relationship. Initially she returns his affection out of gratitude for her change in social status but that soon wears off and she desires to break free from the smothering constraints of her relationship. Problem: old man won't let go. He holds on and with tragic consequences...

My analysis: Oh dear, where do I begin. Is it with the lead female character who was supposedly so impoverished and yet was spotting green contacts, acrylic tips and a bull's eye tatoos? Or with the public assualt scenes where everyone just seemed to be going on with their business even though gun shots had supposedly been fired? Or with the wardrobe choices that made almost all the women look like walking drag queens? Or the fact that the makeup artist was scrimping so much that she could not layer on the foundation and concealer to hide the leading lady's horrible acne ravaged skin which apparently her character could not find a solution to even with an elevation in socio-economic status? Don't even let me start on the weaves.....

My grade: D. Simple, uneventful and a collection of poor performances poorly matched with good ones. Van was ok as usual. Psalm was his usual, huge self with speech that made me think if the poor guy had once had a stroke. The only character that stood out a little bit was of the woman who played his wife. See her weep her way through an entire movie in Crime to Christ as the christian mother. I forget her name in Desperate Desire...

Should you watch it?: If someone gives it to you for free.

Starring: Sola Asedeko, Ayo Badmus & Toyin Adewale

Directed by: Babatunde Olaoye

Production Company: Olaoye Global Concept

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis/Plot: (Pulled from the DVD cover...I kid you not...my reactions in red italics)

"O'npe is the story of a baroness Toyin Adewale who deals on (m'kay...we deal on something now?)female trafficking Queen )Sola Asedeko) the leader of the ladies group met a man (Ayo Badmus) that wanted to change her life, she was caught between the pastor and the baroness who does not want to compromise her business. The die (as per death or dye as per colour?) was now cast for queen to struggle for her survival or get killed by the wicked baroness. Happy viewing (thanks. abi?)."

Grade: I think you can figure that out for yourself from what is written above. To go any further will be too much work and frankly I don't think anyone besides myself is reading this blog so....

Should you watch it?: If you have nothing better to do and someone forgot it in your house or general vicinity....

Starring: Van Vicker, fred Amugi, Kojo Damenya, Nadia Buari, Kalsum Sinare & Juliet Ibrahim

Directed by: Daniel Ademinakor

Production Comany: Aa Production

Language: English

Country: Ghana

Synopsis: Princess takes a drug rap for her husband thinking he is innocent. She comes out of jail and her husband now has some crazed infatuation for her younger sister. Being a high ranking military officer, he has the power and training to make things happen his way irrespective of the colatteral damage. Little sister, Jasmine is involved with fine guy and is oblivious to it all. She is more concerned with avoiding fine guy's ex girl friend who still believes she is in a relationship with fine guy. Drama ensues all over the place.

My grade: B+. Fred Amugi was good. Kalsum kind of lost me. Nadia and Van already know how to look good together so imagine every good shared scene they ever had, and replicate it here. Juliet Ibrahim, I am convinced needs acting lessons and instructions or at the very least, a good wardrobe change...There were some very good moments of suspense and my aunt who was watching with me even shouted. I didn't, she did....

Should you watch it: Yep, go buy it and watch it.

Starring: Femi Branch, Yemi Afolabi, Binta Ayo Mogaji, Kayode Odumosu (Pa Kasumu) & Rotimi Makinde

Directed by: ....

Production Company: Bakky Adeoye Film Productions & Mustoy Film Productions

Language: Yoruba (with subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: Six Words. DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN. Yoruba version. Plagiarised completely

My grade: G- for innovation

B+ for quality of performances

Should you watch it?: If you could not follow the original because you do not speak English well, the producers have thankfully got your back.

Starring: Funke Akindele, Lola Alao, Bimbo Akinsanya, Soji Taiwo, Yinka Quadri, Eniola Afolayan and others....

Directed by: Nojeem Adisa

Production Company: Emma Films Limited

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: (Pulled from the jacket cover...this one is on another level)

Adisa (Yinka Quadri) Murdered a mmanager whom he driver to and his wife, slandering (rotflmbao...slandering in different directions? where is my dictionary?) their children and housemaid (Lola Ajao) in Different directions. Now a notorius armed robber baroon yinka Quadri has three set of gangs for different operations. Grown up Kubura leaves with their former housemaid (Lola Ajao), suraju is now a musician while ramon, who has been given a mystical power by the witches has vow to stop every robbery operation that may occur in the community. The stage is set, ready for battle. The dogs are in pursuance of the tigers. (ok, now we are hunting British style?) Yinka Quadri, Funke Akindele, Bimbo Akinsanya are the Tiger,(so p'olorun) Lola Alao, ramon, Ayo Badmus, Police and the community are the dogs. Eee pa Aja ma Nlepa ekun oooo hin-in-in. (whatever the hell that means).

My Grade: well, after laughing at all that. I will give it a D. Nothing spectacular. I cannot even remember if I watched it all or it still had a sequel because all I know is that of what I saw, nothing major stuck except maybe Soji Taiwo whose razzness is some sort of comic genius.

Should you watch it?: we have to support the artists. they too are trying to feed.

Starring: Bukky Ajayi and a whole bunch of Yoruba actors

Directed by: Lasun Ray ( who also has a cameo at the end)

Production company: Lasun Ray Productions, Toymax film holdings & Dynamic Pictures

Language: Yoruba (with Subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: I think I am going to leave this for someone else to tell me what this was about. I was sleepy and completely did not get how some woman was so rich, she pilfered a husband off another chick who had been financially supporting his broke, dependent ass and that of his parents. The man moves in, wahala( problems) begin and then the plot is all over the place.

My grade: H-. I don't even begin to know who would give funding for this....God, what I would do to start my own production outfit.

Should you watch it: after what i have said above, you are on your own.

Starring: Baba Wande, Ayo Badmus and a whole bunch of amateurs

Directed by: Sola Aderounmu

Production Company: Brim Faze Productions, MAB Movie and Music Company

Language: Yoruba (no subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A couple are plunged into heartache when their first pregnancy turns into a two year ordeal. The wife's quest to be rid of her burden lands in so many precarious situations that almost tears both her family and that of her husband apart, not to talk of her marriage.

My grade: C. Very psychic. Baba Wande lit up the screen in all his scenes. Unfortunately, they were few and far between. The experienced actors were evident and comfortable and the effort of the amateurs was evident...maybe too much.

Should you watch it: yes, if only to watch the scene where Baba Wande meets his daughters suitor for some serious laughter.

Starring: Adebayo Salami, Funsho Adeolu, Any Akhigbe, Tunde Dickson and some other famous Yoruba actors

Directed by: Kunle Afod

Production company: Isolak Ventures, Alhaji Isola Saheed, Dickson Production, Mama Mistura Production

Language: Yoruba (with subtitles)

Country: Nigeria

Synopsis: A cautionary tale of what could happen when a parent or parents exercise too much control over their children's lives and push them into relationships and lifestyles that they either would not choose or do not want but have to concede to because of the parental hold.

Grade: B-. The intimacy between the love birds were a bit nauseating but in all, it was a relatively good movie.

Should you watch it: yes.

So, I have dropped a few points in my IQ from some of the movies in listed above and have done absolutely no homework...but hey, one has to make some sacrifice....

Sigh

2008-11-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

I have been behind in my reviews. I have been meaning to put up posts but life has been so crazy...will get to it.

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2008-10-11T11:18:00.001-07:00

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VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA VS BANGKOK DANGEROUS

2008-09-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

WAS ABLE TO SEE TWO MOVIES THIS WEEKEND. THE FIRST WAS WOODY ALLEN'S "VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA" STARRING JAVIER BARDEM, PENELOPE CRUZ, SCARLETT JOHANSEN AND REBECCA HALL. SET IN SPAIN, IT IS DRY HUMOUR TYPE FLICK ABOUT TWO FRIENDS WHO TAKE A SUMMER VACATION IN SPAIN DURING WHICH THEY RUN INTO THIS EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED PAINTER AND HIS SOMEWHAT PSYCHOTIC WIFE.

VERDICT: I WAS LOST IN THE DIALOGUE. I FOUND ALOT OF WHAT WAS SAID UNBELIEVABLE AND CLICHED...WHICH IN MOST OF THE REVIEWS SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK WAS DELIBERATE. I HOWEVER HAD MOMENTS WHEN I FOUND MYSELF CHECKING MY WATCH TO SEE HOW CLOSE I WAS TO THE END.
THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WERE FOR ME WHEN BARDEM AND CRUZ SHARED THE SCENES. THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO COMBUSTIBLE AND YET EXTREMELY ENTERTAINING. YOU ALMOST WANT THEM TO KEEP HURTING EACH OTHER FOR YOUR MORBID ENTERTAINMENT. JOHANSSEN LOST ME. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY THINK SHE CAN ACT.
ITS STRONG MOMENTS THOUGH PRESENT WERE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.

GRADE: C+

THEN I SAW NICHOLAS CAGE IN "BANGKOK DANGEROUS", AN ACTION FLICK SET IN THAILAND ABOUT A HITMAN WHO GOES THERE TO COMPLETE HIS LAST JOB AND FINDS HIMSELF EMBROILDERED IN MUCH MORE THAN HE BARGAINED FOR.
ALL I CAN SAY IS SHAHKRIT YARMNAM!!!!!!!

YES, CAGE WAS HOT. I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED ASSASIN FLICKS AND THIS ONE MADE ME WANT TO DROP MY ARCHITECTURE DEGREE AND MOVE TO SOME REMOTE ISLAND, LEARN MARTIAL ARTS AND HOW TO SMUGGLE A BARETTA IN MY BRAIDS. BUT GOD DAMN, HIS COSTAR WAS HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAI MEN WERE HOT? MEN, I SALIVATED OVER SHAHMAN OR WAS IT SHAHKRIT AND ANOTHER ACTOR SPOTTING GOLD HAIR...SEXY!!!

YOU'VE GOT TO SEE IT IF YOU LIKE

1. ASSASSINS

2. MEN IN BIKER LEATHER

3. SPECIAL EFFECTS INVOLVING SLOWED CAMERA FRAMES (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL THOSE SLOW-MO CAMERAS)

4. SEXY THAI MEN

5. ASIAN CITIES

6. A NICE STORY

GRADE: B+. STORY WAS SIMPLE. THE ACTION WAS BASIC BUT SLICK. AND I HAVE A NEW CRUSH!!!!

Production Grants needed...

2008-08-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

Anyone in the know of grants I can apply for film projects developments?

I need therapy

2008-06-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

I am sending Waffarian my therapy bill for making me stumble upon this travesty that was Beyonce and Rihanna. I could not believe what I was seeing...

The storyline would have been fine on its own if it had been developed properly but the title alone destroyed any chance or possibility for a well executed piece. I had heard that it was bad, but somehow, I was either slowed by the Tylenol I had taken for a headache or had underestimated the reviews because there are no English words to quantify the disaster that it was.

Grade: H- ( I mean after F, there is G and then there is the grade for this film)

TOTURE, THY NAME IS "DARLING"

2008-06-26T21:21:00.001-07:00

I have received my latest batch of Indian movies from Desicompany. I borrowed this movie because of the male lead, Fardeen Khan. It was horrible.
I am sorry for the spoiler. Aditya (Fardeen Khan) cheats on his wife with employee, Geeta (Esha Deol) who imagines that he will leave wife for her. He doesn't. They fight. She dies. Then she begins to hunt him. And for almost two hours, i try not to cry as I realise I have just flushed $3.50 down the toilet.

Low budget, D- movie....

I just finished....

2008-06-22T00:26:00.001-07:00

I just finished THE BLOOD OF FLOWERS, a sweeping tale set in seventeenth century Iran detailing the life of a young woman with a talent and love for carpet making and the ill fortune of loosing her father and thus the source of dowry to provide her with a marriage.

This is the kind of book that makes me question if indeed, I do possess the talent and skill to make it as a successful writer. The words flowed like melted butter and transported me easily to the very time and place of the narrator's tale. It subtlely blends fiction and myth to provide insight as to what life would have been like and might still be like for a young woman's whose entire existence is dependent upon the protection that alliance with a man can provide; either as a daughter or as a wife.

The book written by Iranian born and American raised Anita Amirrezvani has been shortlisted for the 2008 Orange Prize for Fiction.

IRAPADA...Finally something for us to write home about

2008-06-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

IRAPADA

The DVD arrives in the US and UK second week in July. The reviews have been amazing and I am salivating over this flick....

Cannot wait. This is the competition.

MONGOL...The anticipation

2008-05-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I wanted to see a movie so bad. It arrives June 6th.

The soundtrack already has me in pre-orgasmic state.

Move over Hans Zimmer, A.H Rahman make a place for Tuomas Kantilinen...

This is why I love movies.....

14th and Serenity/ Falling in love again with Chiewetel

2008-05-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

As I prepare for 14th and Serenity, I turn to my muses for inspiration. I thus put together my dollars and cents, ask for a student discount and sit down to immerse myself in the latest project of one my favourite actors and after two hours, I leave the cinema dazed and tantalised. I have fallen in love again with Chiewetel Ejiofor.

I fell once before after seeing KINKY BOOTS. That movie introduced me to a talent unlike any other and a young man destined to turn the world of film on its head. Since that project, he has participated in bigger and better ones using shining in whatever role he plays.

Tonight, he shone for me in RED BELT. He mesmerized me with the unwavering strength of his voice. I desired his presence. I wished for the same discipline and self control that he possessed. I wanted to be him. I wanted him.

The film is about a martial arts instructor who gets lured into the shady world of competitive fighting while he struggles to hold on to the principles that he holds.

I loved it and I will see it again.

Catwalq Grade: A+

COMING SOON....

2008-05-16T15:05:00.001-07:00

WATCH OUT!!!!!

COMING SOON....

2008-05-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

WATCH OUT!!!!!

Anambra bans condoms

2008-04-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

I put up the link to the original post on the Anambra state condom ban and it was broadcast as part of the news on Current TV. Go here, to look at the comments to the broadcast....

L-Shandi; comment and vote

2008-04-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Comment and Vote on the Current TV website so that it can be considered for airing.

My latest project: Opportunity Africa

2008-03-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

U can go on Current TV to leave your comment and to vote for it to make TV

Children of Beslan: a documentary

2008-03-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

A sister delivers......

2008-03-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Album 'African Girl' will be available everywhere in the UK -**MARCH 10, 2008**
Its can be pre-ordered at any of the following links below.

WEBSITE -http://www.nayomusic.com/

HMV -http://www.hmv.co.uk/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;-1;-1;-1&sku=776187

AMAZON -http://www.amazon.co.uk/African-Girl-Nayo/dp/B0013PJGCO/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1204209002&sr=8-1

In addition, we'll be hosting a live **Secret Village Show** atthe Soho Revue Bar in London - March 13th to celebrate the album release.

TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE -http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=gb_london&query=detail&event=257575

INTERVIEW ON CELEBRITY CORNER -http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1437286070&channel=495713462

EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOADS: TIMES ONLINE -http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/music/article3461978.ece

FACEBOOK GROUP -http://www.facebook.com/pages/NAYO/12423665655?ref=s

Eta Inu courtesy Ijinleman

2008-03-02T21:08:00.000-08:00

I was conversating with Solomonsydelle, a few week or so ago and she shared with me a link to this guy on Youtube who has basically gone through the ardous task of posting Yoruba movies online in bits and pieces. His name is Ijinleman. Whether or not what he has done is legal, I am not too sure but anywas I decided to check him out and the first movie, I saw from beginning till end, courtesy his video posting services, was Eta Inu.

The movie stars Fathia Balogun, Funke Akindele, Jide Kosoko, Ope Ayeola, Kareem Adepoju (Baba Wande), Dupe Jaiyesinmi, Funsho Adeolu, Femi Brainard and a host of others in a cautionary tale of children who seek to rebel against the conventional moral codes of society and that of their parents.

The movie was actually quite good and the only thing I can say (based on what was presented and the usual quality that the movies have) was that I could have done without certain religious conservative concepts being rammed down my throat. Funke Akindele's character, Kuburat/KB going down on her needs in the final scene of the movie to pray the Islamic way was a bit too much for me and all the subtle messages being put forward that those who go to parties are loose and immoral or that wearing skirts and short sleeves was not befitting of a well brought up child was not to my taste.

Nothwithstanding, I was laughing so hard at the dialogue that my classmates thought something was seriously wrong with me. Infact, I even placed a call to my aunt at home and asked her to get on the internet and see for herself what the fuss was about.

See the movie. I am going to try and get myself a copy for my library because it is something that will be appropriate for a movie night where you and a couple of your friends can come together and have a good laugh over soda (not alcohol) and some suya (oven style) for those who are not home...not as good but we can all pretend).

Desi craze: always make an evening of it

2008-02-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

There might come an unfortunate time in one's life when one might behold a sight so ghastly or have an experience so traumatic that you know that it will take a lifetime of therapy and prayers to restore you to the whole being that you once were. For me last night, it was sitting down to watch Jhoom Baraber Jhoom

I had sworn after seeing the preview that I was not going to watch the movie come what may but when you borrow Indian movies online from a company like Desicompany, you are typically at their mercy when it comes to what they include as your free flick. Thus, I opened my package to find that they had deigned to provide me with the opportunity to waste almost two hours of my life on this film. I cannot even begin to describe the waste of acting real estate that this movie was.

I mean, what was Abhshek thinking? And what did Preity Zinta imagine was going on? And I don't know what Hindu deity I have to call on for divine intervention because I need someone to explain in great detail what Amitabh Bachan was doing in the general geographical location of where the film was being shot. What went wrong at Yashraj Productions? If they were trying to give an inexperienced writer and producer a chance at the big time, I applaud the thinking but to waste all that money on such a poorly constructed script and an even worse off combination of acting was a bad business investment if I ever saw one. At least, I was sure no Nigerian filmmaker, even on their least budget would have come up with this and that made me feel so much better.

The night was however salvaged by Shahrukh Khan. Now, I am not necessarily one of his greatest fans as I consider him a more commercial actor than an artistic and diversified one. But he came and made my night in Chak De, the feel good and inspirational movie about the Indian women's hockey team.

The cast is refreshingly unknown and earthy. The music was wonderful and the suspense in the game scenes were just appropriate that even though I had a good idea how the movie was supposed to end, the plot took me on a few turns that made me think that maybe my assumption was wrong. I wished I could have met the characters in real life and at one point the ridiculous thought popped into my head that maybe, I could join a sports training camp. Then after seeing what they had to go through, I changed my mind. I think I am going to watch it again. SRK was amazing but most of all, so where the girls who made up the cast of the hockey team. I did not even know that there were oriental looking people of Indian citizenship....shows you how much I know about the country.

Then I finished up the night (or morning) with Rani Mukerji in a movie that touched so close to home in its simplicity and honesty that I was near moved to tears. No, the movie was not soo great but the story, i understood implicitly of a family where the man lives in the misplaced glory of his past and the wife is left to shoulder the burdens of keeping up appearances. I understood implicitly the daughter who flees to the city in search of a means to save her family from ruin and in the process herself is led to self ruin in a society that does not care that it rips its underdog to pieces while it indulges itself. And the hypocritical and pretentious image it projects.

No, this movie will win no awards no break in no new ground as far as contents go. The story is too familiar and has been well played out b4 but it was still a delight to watch
I have loved Rani since Chori Chori and will continue to do so. The cast was well selected and once again, I was reminded of why I am no longer watching anything Aishwarya Rai-Bachan does since she married the man of my dreams, Abhishek.

It was a good night.

Jhoom: Don't even waste your time or that of your enemy if you have one. G-

Chak De: you might find that you want a copy on DVD. B+

Laaga Chaunari: You should see it. C+

Post medical woes

2008-02-10T07:57:00.000-08:00

After an entire week of eratic health issues, I was able to sit up to immerse myself once again in public media and television was one of my first treats. Last night, I sat and watchedmovies on cable. Back to back.

One was "Bernard and Doris" a fable created out of the controversial relationship between Doris Duke, one time richest woman in the world and her irish born butler, Bernard Lafferty.

The movie starring Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes was aired on HBO and with most things that network produces, I told myself that I was not going to miss this. Plus its trailer indicated that it would be my kind of flick and so propped up on the reclining chair and unsuccessfully trying to shut out other sounds, I took a deep breath and began my plough through the movie.

And a plough it was. It started off slow and had I not had a complete and utter devotion to Sarandon and anything she touches, my sock clad feet would have hobbled my exhausted frame away from the living room or my finger would have pressed the forward button to change the channel. Somehow, the director/ writer/whoever-was-responsible-for-the-whole-shebang-in-the-first-place decided early enough what direction the movie was to take and I found myself sitting through to the end.

Sarandon playes Doris Duke, the woman who inherited from her father at the age of thirteen in the early 21st century a fortune totalling close to 100 million in wealth and assets and the film takes place at around the last stage of her life, in her late seventies, when Lafferty is introduced into her life as her butler. This man whose intentions, past and sexuality is debatable to the very end, suddenly rises through the ranks to become her most trusted confidante, so much so that she choses him as a travelling companion on one of her endless worldwide trips that takes up to a year. Upon her death, he is made trustee of her fortune and at the end of the film, you cannot help but ask if that was his intention afterall.

The film shows their relationship completely different from what was actually reported in the press at the time of her death with Lafferty being portrayed as a more siniterious character. Most of scenes were in her home and thus the cast was not expansive but enough to give you some idea of how the woman lived in a world where she trusted no one and where everyone and everything had its price.

Not too bad a flick to see. If it had come out in the theatres, it would have tanked and so HBO was as brilliant ever to present it free on cable. I'd see it again, after I am through with my homework or something.

Grade: C+. I mean, Sarandon is in it and her wardrobe is gorgeous.

Please watch and vote/ comment on Current TV

2008-01-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

27 Dresses

2008-01-25T22:23:00.000-08:00

Yes people, I did see a wide release comedy. JUNO's second show for the night would have meant that I would need to walk home from the metro at two in the morning which was not happening and PERSEPOLIS was sold out. So, I walked six blocks in the cold...yeah, I do dumb stuff like that sometimes and went to see the only film, in my opinion that was worthy of my time.

27 DRESSES stars Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy, Knocked Up), Ed Burns (The Groomsmen, 15 Minutes, Sabing Private Ryan, One Missed Call) and James Marsden (X-Men, Enchanted, Hairspray) with Heigl as Jane, a young woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times, Burns as her boss with whom she is in love and Marsden as Doyle a columnist for the New York Journal whose focus is the wedding circuit where he bumps into Jane and becomes intrigued by her character and this role she has played for so long; the perfect bridesmaid.

I will apologise to myself for having subjected myself to something that would have probably carried more weight for me if I had taken my time to watch it free on Lifetime TV. It is definitely a chick flick, if you are such a chick who wears pink, and secretly plans to run her future household like something out of the repressive fifties where women dressed pretty and frilly and read Barbara Cartland. The reason I did not sleep off in the movie was that the money I spent on the ticket was hard to come by and thus, I was going to make sure I missed nothing.

However, I am in love with James Marsden. That is why I was so happy to see Jean Grey die in X-Men II. Thus I rested all my hopes on the moments when he was on screen. Burns was the typical Burns: you know he can act. He has done it before but is not necessarily shining in this flick, maybe because he did not have that many lines....

There were some amusing parts to the film. Heigl is always lovely to regard. The lady who played her sister however, kept me wondering why her head moved so much in the film. With every sentence, I thought she was trying to draw squibbles in the air with her neck. Also, some of the conversations were not as natural as they could have been.

Still, you might want to see it. It will be a neutral selection if no consensus can be reached when you and your girlfriends get to the cinema and your original choice is sold out or not showing. Ladies, please don't force your boyfriends to go see it. You might not like what they will force you to go see when it is their turn.

27 Dresses was okay.

Silence on the set.....

2008-01-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

HEATHCLIFF ANDREW LEDGER

1979- 2008

China in the House

2008-01-11T09:46:00.000-08:00

CONFESSION OF PAIN

So, I was really stressed out yesterday after the man at Geek Squad told me that it would cost me nearly half the price of a new laptop to fix my old faithful. As I trudged depressed through the mall, I stumbled upon one of those kiosks that one finds in malls that sells Asian movies. I have seen them in every mall I have been to in the DC/MD/VA area and the rumour is that they are owned by the same guy. Well, after dropping $50.00 for four movies, I am sure the owner is doing very well for him self.

Any ways, walked away with four additions to my Asian film collection and sat down to watch the first of them yesterday. Title: Confesion of Pain. Starring Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Xu Jinglei, Shu Qi, and Takeshi Kaneshiro (from left to right). Okay, here goes. I selected this movie solely because of Tony Leung. I fell in love with this man after seing Zhang Yimou's Hero

and I have not stopped loving him. I saved and went to see Ang Lee's Lust Caution

even though I was on my last dollar just because he was in it (post for another day).

So, my grade for the film: C+.

I was not too impressed. I had to put the story together myself to comprehend it and I felt his talent was wasted. He looked good but loving him was not enough to sustain the movie and I was left wishing I could return the DVD for a refund.

Synopsis: Lau (Tony Leung) is a high ranking police detective (think the junior brother of the CIA, china style) and his friend Bong (Takeshi) works on his team. Lau's father inlaw is murdered and horribly too for what is initially believed to be a robbery gone bad carried out by junkies who were found dead. Lau's wife Wei (Xu Jinglei) believes is being stalked and by her father's real killer, which would mean that the case is much deeper than what the police and her husband says it is. She solicits the help of Bong to crack the case as Bong has left the force and is now battling alcoholism after his girlfriend commits suicide over her lover whom she is pregnant for. You know from the beginning who really commited the crime, what we don't know is why.

At the end, all is revealed and the killers exit is well done.

The movies's strong moments were very good and its weak moments were very weak. See it..... when it comes out on cable.

Happy New Year

2008-01-02T11:24:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the new year. It's so nice to see all your beautiful and somewhat bewildered faces when you discover this blog( for those that do not know that I manage three blogs)

I watched THROUGH THE FIRE last night, a film produced by Chuks Etolue of NigerAmerica Pictures. I was a bit skeptical to watch it because I had loaned it to friend and she had all but bashed the thing to the ground. Having seen the movie and knowing that she is from Barbados, I will say that I am sorry that she is upset because her country has no film industry of their own.

What grade will I give the film? Ans: B+. It was well written, well shot and most of the actors did well. The voice over of the narrator did not do it for me, the constant flash backs were kind of exhausting even if they were sharply done and some of the cast would have been better off with their natural accents.

Nonetheless, the Nigerian based cast headlined by Patience Ozonkwo were on point with Ozonkwo in her typical role of the mother-in-law from hell. The film also had an above average selection of US based actors, most of whom I am sure are friends and not actors but who did quite an impressive job of delivering on their roles.

The story was simple: a couple who have lost two kids at birth, transplant themselves under family opposition to their continued union to the United States with the hopes that access to better medical care will save the current pregnancy the wife is carrying. When they get there, things are not what they seem and the family has to make some tough decisions as they fight to keep their status, dignity and child. KPOM!!!
I understood the story, I commiserated with the characters and sat with the same amount of trepidation and hopelessness that they portrayed.

The soundtrack: Something I always focus on, was well put together and simple. There was no off key singer, with irritatingly descriptive lyrics sung in a wannabe-foreign, heavily Igbo accented voice. They got it right for suspense, tragedy and dramatic scenes. Was well done.

Wardrobe: Well put together. No one was not dressing in contradiction to their personality and body type. Although the black mesh shirt that the character Koffi wore in the final scenes is a no-no.

I would recommend that you go see it.

Also, I watched a couple of films by Oodua Afrik Films, a Yoruba film production company that is headlined by Ogogo. I am of the opinion that one day, I will hand a huge sum of money over and tell Taiwo Hassan (Ogogo) that he should just go ahead and make whatever he wants to make. I have been in his corner since Owo Blow and he has shown no indications that he wants me to leave so that is a producer that I will say, pay some attention to.

I like the simplicity of his stories. No one is sitting under some banana tree somewhere and fanning a shrine's fire to cause calamity. Most of his stories are about simple action and reaction. KPOM!!! Me, I likey very very much.

I saw Eni Akoko (First Person) and Ire Nwami Nitemi/ The Gold Digger ( I do not agree with the English title but hey, no be me get am for film). Two good films I tell you.

And I bought, started and finished Half Of a Yellow Sun. It was well written but I was not as spellbound as I had been with Purple Hibiscus. Something seemed forced about the story, in my opinion but it was still superbly written and worthy of all the accolades it had received. It was an OK read.

So, here is to a new year of bigger and better productions in TV, film and literature.

Kite Runner vs Moloka'i

2007-12-22T10:04:00.000-08:00

There's nothing I love more than to kill the time before my movie starts by perusing the magnificent world that exists within the walls of the Bethesda Barnes & Nobles

I walked out with the book Moloka'i by Alan BrennertThis I started in the bookstore and then finished it in the morning after I got home from my movie.

After I walked out of the store I went in to see the Kite Runner

The soundtrack was amazing; courtesy the Italian Alberto Iglesias. The characters were just poetic. I understood them all. From the weakness of character that led to Amir's sacrifice of his friendship to Hassan, to the strength of character that was the pillar his father was made of, to the jealousy fueled cruelty that propelled Asfer from a neighbourhood truant into a Taliban general. I understood the starkness of the land (even though the film was shot in location in Pakistan and Northern China), I embraced the language like I understood it. The music carried me up and let me float down with the sureness of a descending kite and speaking of kites, did anyone know that they could be so fascinating?

It was a lovely film and when it was all over, I was blessed not to have to wait long for my bus as it was sitting right there when I got to the stop. It was like God knew how much I had needed the day's experiences and how much I needed to get home not just to finish my book but to go over my thoughts.

Have a wonderful holiday.

I have played this song so much....

2007-12-19T15:58:00.001-08:00

Anti-Corruption Day

2007-12-09T09:30:00.001-08:00

Watch This!!!!

See what our people have been reduced to......

DO YOUR BIT FOR NAIJA...NIGERIAN LIGHTHOUSE INITIATIVE

2007-12-07T13:28:00.001-08:00

Dear friends:

December 9th is UN International Anti-Corruption Day and Nigerian Lighthouse seeks to commemorate this day with a small but pertinent project.

The goal is to get as many people to write a 50 word (or less) message on how to eradicate corruption in Nigeria. All submitted messages will be posted at the website - nigerianlighthouse.org .

Most Nigerians have an opinion on how to stop corruption. Here is a chance to share that idea with the world! So, simply write a message of 50 (or less) words and send it to NigerianLighthouse@gmail.com. Then send another message to your friends encouraging them to participate as well. This will only take 5 minutes of your time and the rewards - sharing ideas that will definitely improve Nigeria - is more than worth it.

Hope to hear from you all!

Nigerian Lighthouse Team

PS: To learn more about the origins of International Anti-Corruption day, please visit the United Nations page at http://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/about-unodc/9-December.html

You can post yours as comments to this post and I will see that it gets to the Lighthouse.

All hail Zhang Yimou

2007-12-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

Movies, soundtrack and the female element

2007-11-25T15:35:00.000-08:00

Before you start, I will like to invite you to check this out. To the women, feel free to share your stories about that part of your anatomy that brings us joy, pain, confusion and comfort. And to the men, feel free to analyse that which your pursuit of defines your life's decisions.

I love film. It presents a world into which I can immerse myself and experience something that at the time is beyond my reach. I watch films quite differently from the average person. I absorb the dialogue, I crtique the wardrobe, sample the music and adopt the characters as my own.
I am going to share some asian films that have in some way brought home the female element and why I love them. I am sharing Asian films because though I am Nigerian and come from a country that has a wide and influential film industry, there are no films, in my opinion that explore the complex relationships that make up our women or dare to showcase women how they really are or ought to be without catering to stereotypical roles that tell us that we have to as women cater to the man at the expense of our happiness, goals and identity.
These films are different and hold different meanings for me but in essence they explore the woman and her varying identities

1. KAMA SUTRA: A TALE OF LOVE
DIRECTOR: MIRA NAIR
I love this movie because it's story completely seduced me and engulfed my senses. I have even written a play in my mind that I call an ode to this film. The performances were gorgeous, the scenery beautiful, the music was haunting and beautiful in its subtlety.
It shared a complex story of a power play between two women and the men whose desires they fulfilled.

2. MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA : adapted from the book by Arthur Golden
DIRECTOR: ROB MARSHALL
I love this film because I fell in love with the book. Plus, I am in love with Ken Watanabe, the lead male character. The soundtrack was so beautiful, the costumes gorgeous and the rumoured scandal behind the film's leading ladies, scintillating. I have this on DVD and watch the bonus features on occassion as inspiration of how good I want my cinematography to be when I make my own movies.
The story is of a geisha in pre-second world war Japan and her journey towards becoming a renowned "artist" or geisha. I have always been fascinated by these women who walk the thin line between "kept woman" and entertainer

3. WATER
DIRECTOR: DEEPA MEHTA
I don't want to go as far as say that I worship Deepa but in some ways I do. As a film maker, she has continously chosen to break convention and tell the stories that need to be told.
If you have not seen this film, you need to because it addresses a traditional practice that in most developing countries is still being practiced to day and that is the unfair and unrealistic treatment of widows. "Water" is told from the Indian perspective. With the introduction of the V-Monolugues, we too as Africans can tell ours and help put a stop to a useless and unjust abuse of the basic human rights of women.

4. DOR
DIRECTOR: Nagesh Kukunoor
This director is one of the main reasons why I began to believe that maybe I could make it in the film industry even if I did not go to film school. With a background in engineering, he turned around and went into film and his work gets progressively better with each installment
I love this film because it is about the connection that we women have. This sisterhood, sorority that we have to keep alive, celebrate and promote. The performances were very very good, the scenery was breathtaking and the music I just fell in love with. One of the songs "Yeh Hosla" is playing with this clip

Just Do It

2007-11-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

So I have been going through some real difficult stuff in my life. Stuff that has caused me to question my relationship with God and my relationship with Him.
Somewhere in the midst of the chaos and confusion in my heart, I suddenly got the inspiration to just get off my arse and get the job done myself.
I have resolved that I will begin taking some steps. If I take one step and there is no more road, I will know that I have to back track and start in another direction- there are so many ways to get to Lagos Island besides the Third Mainland Bridge.
I have to stop waiting for someone to say "Hey Catwalq, there is the road." I wouldn't mind that, once I have started walking.
Wish me luck and look out. It's all about to happen.

Check out one of my odes to the designs that cater to my V Spot

Where are you?

2007-11-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

Where are you?
Don't you know that I am waiting to hear from you?
Don't you know that I all I look forward to in the hustle and bustle of the day is that time when the phone rings and your voice spills forth from the other end to caress me?
Don't you know that I have restructured my entire schedule to make time to conversate with you?
Don't you know I am so scared of myself now
I have checked all my sent messages...all to you
eighty percent of my calls...all to you
my naughtiest thoughts...all of you
My pseudo-diet plans...all for you
Call me
Tell me anything
I have become a walking cliche-d woman where I walk around and think of pink flowers and cotton candy
Of "his" and "hers" towels
That's what I am thinking about when my body is not pulsating at the mere thought of you
When I have to change my underwear as I have been drenched with the desire of you
Call me
Help my head calm down
Stop my mind from running riot
Give me something to hold on to
Where are you?
Where are you?
Don't you know?
That I love you?

Do you know?

2007-11-11T13:23:00.000-08:00

Where can one get statistical research data/info on the Nigerian Film industry?
Rules and regulations?
Historical data?
etc?

I made up my own meme...twenty random things I am thinking

2007-11-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

1. I feel so good right now. He told me I am the sexiest woman he has ever met. That's going to be my mantra as I work out this week

2. I am cooking fried rice right now

3. I have alot of work to do. Mostly because I procrastinated

4. I have to go get my things out of the dryer. Can't have impatient strangers handle my lovelies

5. I wonder what is on tv tonight. I am going to end up on either Current TV or IFC anyways

6. I love my bed. I am ignoring it right now though cos after I update this blog. I have to get cracking on my work.

7. I think I need to loose some serious inches on my waist.

8. I love blogging. I am in love with my blogville characters...

9. I learnt how to use a flat iron this weekend.

10. I have to post some important packages tomorrow.

11. Dang! I just realised I am out of plantain and so what will I eat my fried rice with.

12. I have salad cream so aha!

13. I wonder what other bloggers are doing.

14. I am going to start working on a movie script. I am convinced I can make a much better movie than anyone currently out there on the Nigerian market.

15. Why did my mummy not call me today?

16. I hope my brother is alright. I miss him bugging me. I miss my daddy too but right now I really miss Omo Mummy

17. I have to think of things to make up the random twenty points. Why didn't I pick ten or fifteeen?

18. What is that smell? Jisoz!!! My rice

19. It's ok. I am paranoid

20. Like I said, I am feeling very sexy today...but I am going to eat some of this food even though it is 9.00 pm at night...

So, like most people who do memes, you have to tag some people. So I don't get beat up at the Blogville Townhall Meeting for missing out anyone, I thus invite you, the reader to tag yourself and feel free to use this as a post.
But you have to indicate that you are using it so I can come check yours out.
Have a wonderful week.

When a queen fell...

2007-10-31T18:09:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you hear that someone has thrown in the towel in his/her struggle to have a happy existence and opted to exit their present incarnation. Shock, disbelief, betrayal, accusations, condemnation cannot encompass the breath of the reactions that will follow.

As a child, I always considered such people cowardly. I mean, I would sneer, what could they be going through that they felt they could not solve? Now that I am older and have grazed through my fair share of frustrations and depression, I can imagine why at some point, an unscheduled exit will appear the release one needs.

Still I have held on and with each passing of the 'night' I am grateful for the opportunity to see the morrow.

Once when I was in school, I witnessed what many of us considered an attempted suicide. A girl, in my graduating year fell off the ledge of the balcony of our floor where she had been dangerously perched and warned repeatedly to dismount from.

She had been a slightly odd female; prone to mood swings, sudden displays of aggression and then surprising gaiety. I knew her, she knew me and we were not friends.

As she sat on the ledge, ignoring the warnings of our colleagues, she swung her legs as if she were seated on a swing only but a few inches from the ground instead of two stories up. I watched her from the corner of my eye not because I was concerned but because I was people watching. I would watch my classmates much like an outsider would watch a foreign people.

The next thing I knew, she was no longer there. She had lost her balance and fallen. Two stories to the ground below. Gravel broke her fall. Screams tore through the air as girls rushed forward.

Somehow, the SS1 girls who were on the ground floor responded like lightning and two seconds later, the fallen girl was being carried to the sickbay. Girls somehow had the intuition that at the speed the carriers were moving and with the weight of the fallen girl, they would get tired. They moved like a synchronised machine, moving to the ends of the train to take over the task and move her in one piece to our barely capable medical emergency care. Minutes later, the school ambulance raced out to the hospital.

Then the stories began. She had jumped, they said. She had simply leaned back and let go. She had been smiling. She looked happy as she fell. All sorts of tales. Night prep was a waste of time as no one could calm down. I joined in the talking.

Why would she try to kill herself? What an idiot. If she wanted to kill herself, we mused coldly, why hadn't she availed herself to the ten-stories high staff quarters on the compound?

According to the tales, when she was able to talk, they had asked her if she had tried to hurt herself and she had not denied it. Upon her return the next semester, we avoided her like a plague. I was not going to be the one to set her off and make her kill herself for real. She became even more quiet.

When I told my mother, she was so disappointed in me. She could not believe that I had joined in the common consciousness to scorn the fallen queen. "She was unhappy, why could you not see that?" my mother asked in her quiet voice that sounded much like a condemning yell.

I had been silent. I did not tell my mother that I had understood exactly what the girl had been feeling. I too had been unhappy. I had simply feared surviving an attempt on my own life than anything else and never taken the step.

I wonder where she is now. I hope she is happy. Each day, I choose to be. I refuse to be a fallen queen. I always have to find the strength to do that.

Lace & Adire IV

2007-10-28T22:02:00.001-07:00

I am going through my list trying to make sure that I have got all Tammy needs for her trip.
I think I have.
My phone vibrates on the table. Once. It is a text.
I know who it is from because it is three am in the morning and only one person cares enough to send me something.
Also it is eight am where he is and he sends me a morning text up.
"My woman" it says "guess you are still asleep. I am at the office and I love you."
My whole body springs to attention.
It recognizes him and it yearns.
I have told no one about him.
He is my first blessing in a list of many and I am so elated that I feel like I can have it all and will.
I close my eyes and in my mind's eye, I can see his lips move, the words reaching out to caress mine in a soft kiss.
I quickly text him a kiss.
His reply is almost immediate. "Are you working on a project? Why are you awake?"
"I am. Tammy and school."
He does not like my job with Tammy or maybe, it's what Tammy does that he does not like.
He has not asked me to stop and offer to provide for me because he already knows what my answer will be.
The phone rings. It's an Unavailable number. Long distance. Him.
"Hey," my voice is breathy and anxious. It's almost like my body is drinking in the sound of him.
"Love, you are still awake? I really have to do something about this."
I chuckle because we both know that there is nothing we can do about the hours I keep.
What we are not saying but thinking is that if he were here, I'd be awake and working and so would he as we both brought the other to a release so explosive and earth shattering.
"I miss you." I tell him. I am not going to beat about the bush and have him fish such words out of me.
He sighs " I am counting down till xmas. If you cannot come to me, there is nothing stopping me from coming to you. Either way, I am going to be with you."
I close my eyes. I need him now. Almost painfully.
"Talk to me," I ask of him "Talk to me in whispers. Tell me anything but whisper it to me.

Lace & Adire III

2007-10-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

I am trying to concentrate.
Ms Cesare knows my mind is not with her.
Still, I am taking notes without missing a beat.
I want to be with him so much, my whole body is tingling
I don't know how much longer I can wait.
It doesn't help that Tamara house a home that is softly lit.
The hues cast by her expensive Neimann Weeks lamp makes me think of skin slicked with sweat.
The fragrance of her pot pourri makes me imagine what his sheets would smell like.
My thighs are aching just to clamp down, trapping him inside of me.
"Catwalq?" Tamara's voice is soft but full of caution.
I am not paying attention. She is not finding it funny.
"I am sorry...?"
"Would you like to leave?"
I swallow. How can someone who says so little have the power to make me hear all?
"No, I am very much with you."
She nods. Her head turns slightly, a graceful and effortless return of her gaze to the paper in her hands. We are planning her trip to the Hamptons. A "meeting" with one of her clients.
"It's all so consuming, isn't it?" She says, her words seeming to float towards me in my daze.
My ears spring to attention.
"I am sorry?"
"It's all so consuming. Isn't it." she repeats, impaling me with her now green eyes. She changes her contacts so often, it is amazing. Green for her is the most disconcerting. And pretty.
"I am not sure I follow..." I stammer.
"Something tells me he is not an average man. Now, is he?"
It takes me all of three seconds to decide whether to lie or allow her some insight into my life. I mean, it's not like I don't know what she does for a living. But we are not friends. She is a courtesan and I am her assistant.
I nod. He is very non average. I am petrified to have anyone see just how he is making me feel, so I look at my feet. Tamara chuckles.
"You are a sly one, you. " she sighs "Enjoy this. You don't know how hard it is to have that feeling and keep it."
I look at her lowered head as she returns to her writing. Who is she really? How did she become this woman? This woman, men and in some cases women pay thousands of dollars for her company. This woman, with whom I have never seen a companion...a partner. This woman who in her silence appears so unbending, formal, and yet so sensual and vulnerable.
"I know." I tell her, because I do know how long I have waited for this.
"Tell him that if he misbehaves, I know a guy who can make him swim with the fishes."
I laugh out loud because the way she says it is so deadpan that it is hilarious.
She smiles at me and I can see why all want her.
"Catwalq"
"Yes?"
"Pay attention."

A TASTE OF YOU

2007-10-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Every touch
imprinted in my brain
Every single inch upon my skin branded by you
All I want
Is to be with you again
Wait for the time, I'll return to you

As season's change
Summer burns with passion
I'm restless, I am hot
Waiting for you
Falling apart
Going insane
Hopelessly waiting
anticipating.........

Lyrics to a song I wrote and had performed. Dedicated to you. You know who you are.

Lace & Adire II

2007-10-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

She lives in Friendship Heights. In a condo that was converted from an old apartment that was once inhabited by a famous DC socialite. I guess that is interesting. I am only interested how much it is going to cost my derriere to get to and from her place in the rush of a working day.

It has been agreed. I will come once during the week. On Wednesday. So her weekly schedule will run from one Wednesday to the next. Then on Saturday, I pick up dry cleaning, drop off the next batch, make sure the maid does the clean up like she likes it, cross check all appointments ("work related" or otherwise) etc. I am kind of a glorified maid but at the amount I am paid, I am considered an "assistant". And I am loving it.

I think the concierge at the apartment knows what she does or at least has an idea of what the nature of her job is. And I think he imagines me to be her protege or something. He looked at me funny when I went and I looked at him funny, right back. Caucasian Negro. Mssstsststhw!!

I have to go to Sensuale to pick up her package. From what I know Sensuale to be, I guess we have a new shipment of "accessories".

I have homework. I have to learn to drive. This is going to be an interesting couple of months.

Lace & Adire

2007-10-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

"What is your name?"
"Catwalq". I answer trying to hold her gaze. It's her eyes you know, they bore into me unflinchingly, like she is trying to impale me with them.
"How old are you?"
"23"
"Where are you from?"
"Lagos, Nigeria"
"Interesting...and how long have you been here?"
"Four years now."
She uncrosses her fabric clad legs. I try not to marvel at the fluidity of her movements. Her pants are expensive, I can tell, the colour is rich and it suits her. I am thirsty but I do not reach for my drink.
"Why do you want this job?"
I pause because I am thinking whether or not to be honest.
"I need a position that will pay me well and does not include the hassle of paperwork."
She smiles. She knows what I mean. I need a job. I am not allowed to work off campus. There are no jobs on campus to hire me and I am running on an account of red with bills piling up left, right and center. She needs an assistant. I am here.
"How did you think to get in touch with me?" her voice is as warm as the tea she sips. I feel cold. Why, I don't know.
"It just occurred to me."
What was I to say? That I had emailed more than twelve others after having perused the internet for weeks and that she was the only one to get back to me. She was my first actually. I try not to think about the fact that she might have simply asked me here for her own amusement. I don't want to walk out of the cafe with a croissant and a glass of juice as my reward. I want a job. I want to work for Tamara Cesare. I want this job. I need this job.
"I was not looking for an assistant, " she begins and then adds when she sees my expression"But that is not to say I don't need one."
I have to be careful to curtail my facial expressions. She is reading me like a book. She needs someone as mysterious as she. She needs me to be as elusive as she. She needs me to be as private as she. She needs...
"I am sorry, can you repeat that again?" Shit! I wasn't listening.
Her smile is not amused.
"How much of your time can you give?"
My answer is rehearsed.
"I can work ten to fifteen hours during the week and my weekends are optional."
"Where do you go to school again?"
"On the Hill"
"What do you study?"
"Architecture"
"That is pretty demanding...you believe you can make it work."
"I am capable of balancing the responsibilities. In fact, I..."
"Very well," she interrupts "I will put you on a temporary basis...we'll see how that works out."
I nod.
"I expect the highest form of professionalism. I do not joke with my business."
I nod.
"You have to be discreet....And I will not tolerate slip ups."
I nod. Dis she expect me to comment?
She peers at me from behind her tea cup.
"I don't know about you...but at least you don't have that wide eyes innocence that one would expect but you are not that sharp either."
I am silent. Why is she insulting me.
She reaches into the flat purse that has lain in on the table between the two of us since we met. She pulls out a card, a pen and begins to write. I am thirsty.
"You haven't touched your juice...or your croissant for that matter."
I give her a weak smile.
She chuckles. "You honestly think that slurping liquid or chewing out loud will dictate whether or not you get the position?"
I don't know what to say, so I nod.
She hands me the card.
"Tomorrow at seven thirty. Can you make that?"
I quickly browse through my schedule for the next day in my mind. Seven thirty is late but it's good.
I nod.
"Do you drive?"
"No" My heart catches in my chest. Oh no.
"Can you drive?"
I shake my head. She looks at me for a long minute.
"Don't be late."
She rises as she speaks. I try to rise with her so that I can shake her hand before she leaves. She walks away before I can say a word; my hand hangs extended.
I look at the card. It is a local address. I hope it is metro accessible. I can't wait to get home and check the internet for the directions.
If all is well, I might have a job. As an assistant to one of DC's highest paid female escorts.

PAST LIVES, DREAMS & SOUL TRAVEL

2007-10-06T09:51:00.001-07:00

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO AN OPEN DISCUSSION ON PAST LIVES, DREAMS AND SOUL TRAVEL

EXPLORE TECHNIQUES TO BRING HAPPINESS AND HARMONY INTO YOUR LIFE.

VENUE: HOWARD UNIVERSITY ARMOUR J BLACKBURN CENTER
TIME: 7.00- 8.30 PM
DATE: WEDNESDAY, OCT 10TH 2007

COME FIND ANSWERS TO SUCH QUESTIONS AS:

* WHAT DO MY DREAMS MEAN TO MY PHYSICAL LIFE?

* ARE OUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES EVIDENCE THAT WE HAVE LIVED BEFORE?

* HOW CAN I CREATE A BALANCE IN MY SPIRITUAL LIFE AND MY PHYSICAL LIFE?

FOR MORE INFO VISIT www.eckankar.org

23 is the new 16....

2007-10-03T21:04:00.001-07:00

Today I am 23. Oct 4th. Officially

Don't know how the post shows yesterday when I did it this morning.

I am optimistic about this new year of my life.

In so many ways, when I was younger, where I am today is not where I thought I would be.

It has all been a blessing sha and I am grateful.

Imagine all those that never got a chance to see their tenth birthday not to talk of their twentieth.

I guess I am now counting down to 30. Psyches.

Have a great day all.

EASTERN PROMISES....therapy here I come

2007-09-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

So, I got up and dragged one of my best girlfriends and decided that we would do something that did not entail either one of us lamenting about the varying issues in our lives. We got on the metro, rushed to Potbelly's were we bout two sandwhiches to take into the theatre (hey, unless u have some spicy chicken wings or spicy food or sweetened popcorn, I am bringing in my own food), rushed to the theatre to find our first choice sold out. So, after a ridiculous game of rock paper scissors, we settled on

I must say that this was the first time that I actually felt disturbed by a film. I thought I was going to be plunged into a romantic tale about the russian mafia where the villains have heart and the codes of the familia are not necessarily wrong, just not understood by average society.

I can say that while I might have contemplated dating a don or two, I am not interested in meeting or identifying a member of the russian mob. Immediately the movie was over, almost the entire room rose as one and hurried from the hall, trying not too appear as jarred as they actually were.

Now that I am home, warmer (cos I dressed inappropriately for the weather...forgot it would get colder as the evening wore on and forgot to take a sweater) and listening to some soothing new age music from my Narada collection, I can say that the movie was quite good. The characters were raw and unapologetic and the leading female was unabashedly naive and romantic (you know, the type that sees the flowers and rainbows in everything).

I will recommend the movie for you if you have a string stomach. the gore is plentiful and sudden. You might cry out for your mummy...like I did...hey, I no dey shame that kain thing. Why I go dey demo when I get mama?

Any ways, I am about to enjoy my weekend and hope you do the same

LOVE FOR SHARE

2007-09-18T04:31:00.000-07:00

I went to see a free movie (yeah, sue me) out of Indonesia. Berbagi Suami (Love for Share) was an interesting presentation of three stories revolving around polygamy in Indonesia. Three women, Salma, Siti and Ming were profiled in three interconnecting stories that portrayed in what I must call a humane side of polygamy. Gone were the exaggerated theatrics employed in Nigerian films to tackle the issue that they in the end fail to either indicate is bad or good.

I loved the movie. Loved the stories, the characters, the footage, the soundtrack and did not mind that the movie seemed lengthier than 120 minutes. The best part was the question and answer session where the director who had been brought in by the association of southeast Asian countries in celebration of thirty years of good relationship with the United States.

Back to the movie. While it was not my first south east Asian flick (those who know me must know that I am a die hard Bollywood addict and I have dabbled in a Thai hit here and there) it was my first out of Indonesia and I must confess I imagined I was going to have to sit through a production much similar to the likes of which spewed out by our spare-parts-dealers-turned-film-producers. I was so surprised at the quality of the movie. The sound was amazing and the camera angles were well used.

I was so intrigued about this award winning film that I had to go google it. How is it that a country whose economy mirrors ours and has a movie industry even younger and less experienced than ours in Nigeria, produce flicks that have depth and direction. I think it is because their industry is run by trained storytellers. The director informed us that she researched her script for over a year before even thinking of casting. And that was all born out the curiosity created when she was introduced to her driver's second wife. I have heard alot of jokes about Nigerian directors and script writers who decide the next project's concept over the pounded yam lunch in between takes. I have no issue with that...if at least six months is devoted to digging in depth into the concept, researching and documenting the finds. They might find better insights and make films that we Nigerians abroad will feel unashamed and skeptical about inviting our friends to see with us. You don't know how many times my friends have come asking for dvds to watch, seen my film collections and I have to lie about lack of subtitles (which usually is true for Yoruba films) or that the disk is scratched (very plausible even of it is supposed to be new) or it is not working (again another possibility).....come to think of it, I don't even have to lie.

For the directors out there using film as their medium of communication, please take some time to put together your projects. The same way you will not leave your house half dressed don't send your projects out into the world have made. Research your stories. Leave your opinions out of it (I am tired of the self gratifying movies made my ignorant and chauvinistic men that paint outspoken and forward thinking women as immoral or religious fanatics that tout their faith...not everyone is of a majority faith and it is extremely annoying) and get those who know how to do it t work with you. It takes time but wouldn't you rather have a lasting quality product?

I would.

2007-09-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

Borrowed from Nyemoni

Accent: Yoruba Brit on Crack..

Booze: Don't drink

Chore I Hate: I am lazy, so everything

Dogs/Cats: Neither

Essential electronics: TV( that has its own DVD and VCR player), a sound system, a computer (if that constitutes an electronic gadget...+all its accessories

Favourite Perfume: Right now, Armani Code, Estee Lauder's Intuition and Moschino's I love love...also, just tried on a Burberry Classic. It was lovely

Gold/Silver: Silver.

Hometown: Lagos Island, Lagos State

Insomnia: Not possible

Job title: Very Soon; Architect/ Developer and Entrepreneur

Kids: Not on my list of things to have now

Living arrangements: Useless dorm but my room is sweet…

Most admired trait: People have complimented my go-to personality, the way I talk, and that I am easy to talk to

Number of sexual partners: Male or female?

Overnight hospital stays: Diarrhea. The doctor on call was so cute it was illegal and he did not mind my leaky butt

Phobia: Smells and Failure

Quote: "Every thought, word, or action either purifies you or pollutes you." Sri Harold Klemp, Spiritual Leader, Eckankar. So which is it going to be?

Religion: Eckankar

Siblings: 1 brother. Very annoying but he can have my left kidney anytime.

Time I usually awake: When I am late for class

Unusual talent: I’ve still not discovered it…

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Most caucasian inspired things...like squash.

Worst habit: Procrastination + Exageration = Disaster

X-rays: To get into secondary school and college. Many, as an out patient at Igbobi.

Yummy foods I make: Ogbono, itsekiri style. Efo riro. Okra. Yam Pottage

Zodiac sign: Libra!!! We rock

Play list: Tal, by Trapezoid.

2007-09-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

I need a topic to blog on.
Oya, donate...

Just for me

2007-09-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

Him: What do you want from me? I can't keep up with your games, Cat

Me: (slow chuckle) I am suprised you don't already know.

Him: Like I said, I am not into games. And I am confused as to why you are choosing to play them.

Me: Before I tell you, you have to promise to give it to me.

Him: I cannot promise what I am unsure of. You know that and neither will you.

Me: Then, I cannot tell you

Him: Then, I guess that's it.

Me: OK

Him: Fine, I don't care. You want it...whatever it is, so it is your loss

Me: How do you know?

Him: (Pauses, watches me) I don't. You won't say and I am not going to guess

Me: Fine...*sighing*

Him: What is it?

Me: Nothing

Him: Then why are you sighing like that

Me: I have the right to expel air any which way I like

Him: Suit yourself

Me: Fine. I am going home.

Him: So we are back to where we started?

Me: Actually no. I thought you'd be chicken but now I am sure. So u see, I have made some progress

Him: (silence)

Me: If looks could kill (chuckling)

Him: Catwalq!...

Me: Damn, u r pissed. Why?

Him: @#^%!

Me: Excuse you? I am going to assume that's not at me

Him: (sighing) Where is this going? We are beating about the bush. You keep saying you want something mature. I can't give you what you want unless you tell me what it is. U know you are not the simpering type and U know that type is not my type either. For the last time, what do you want?

Me: ....

Him: Hun?

Me: Release.

Him: Release?

Me: Release...for my body and my fantasies. Nothing more...for now and nothing less.

Him: ok...?

Me: You give me you and I give you me. We see just how explosive it all can be...i mean, the sparks are all there to see.

Him: Are you rhyming?

Me: No

Him: Carry on

Me: Next weekend, I am free. We can go where ever you choose and create whatever we feel like. The weekend is just what it is...a weekend. You, me and clean sheets...don't look at me like that. You say, you want me to be blunt...

Him: That you have always been

Me: Then, what is the problem

Him: Why?

Me: It's something that I want. Just for me.

Him: And me?

Me: Oh, I am open to whatever...just don't expect some circus-trapeze-swinging-type-shit. And I don't do excessive pain. A spank, ok; show up with a laddle and I will use it on you and your ancestry.

Him: (laughs)....just this weekend?

Me: For now, yes

Me+ life= 23 year old woman with the personality of a 45 year old

2007-08-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

He says to me, " Catwalq," (after a heated arguement) "I want to be regarded as the head of the household not because I beat (not literarily) my wife into a corner and command her to worship me but because she has taken a good look at me, assessed my strengths and weaknesses and has decided that yes XXXX (his name) is worthy of my heart and my devotion. That means, I have to have earned it through my actions and how I live my life not because I brow beat her into supplication (his words not mine. yeah, he is one of the book-ie ones). I want her to love me as I love her because I have earned her love."

I am thinking to myself, "Then why won't you give me a chance? I already think that about you, why won't you give me a chance? Matter of fact, why won't anyone?"

I am really hating always being the friend that everyone says will make a great wife, mother, cook, driver, bedmate...whatever-based-on-what-I-am-doing-at-the-time. Okay, so I am not so sold on the idea of the first three but damn, why must it be so hard.

This is what happens when you are twenty-three going on forty five.

I am going to get myself a soda.

Bah!!!!!

Beasts of No Nation

2007-08-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

I just read Uzodinma Iweala's "BEASTS OF NO NATION". Yes, I know I am late to the discourse of it but like people always say, "Better late than never". It was a heart wrenching read. I hurt all over as I took a journey with the main character, a little boy soldier through his experiences trying to survive during the war after having lost his childhood and being forcefulloy thrust into a world of chaos, abuse and violence.

His words were so simple and sincere that it was like I felt each shiver of fear, each hunger pang and his desperation. I wish I could write like that. It was a great book and I am recommending you read it.

And if you can, do keep in mind that you have to be careful what actions you take and be prepared to be accountable for them. I am sure that none of the generals who plunge countries into wars take into account the effects on the lives of those individuals who have absolutely no understanding of what they are supposed to be fighting for.

I always pray that every thought, word and action that I make is to God's glory and that of which is his. I always pray that I do not consciously or unconsciously cause another human being pain because if I do set out to victimise someone else, I have degenerated from the human consciousness of soul to that of an animal.
http://saheeda.blogspot.com/
http://giamarrospeaks.blogspot.com/

HUG ME

2007-08-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a good day. U know, one of those days when God hugs you and tells you that all will be well and that you are on the right part.
I was on such a good high.
So here's a hug from me to you; inviting you to share in my happiness.
Have a good day and GREAT weekend.

On a mission...

2007-08-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

I need all my guys and (capable ladies to help me out here).
Guys, I need to improve my technique....
When I tried, I don't think he liked my "efforts" too much even though he said not a thing.
I made sure everything was warm and that the motion was fluid but I am quite sure I suck (no pun intended).
I need tips before he comes back next friday.
I want to make sure that afterwards, he is not coherent. And in a good way

Maybe it's just me...

2007-08-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

1. I cannot wake up in the morning and immediately jump on the phone. I live with an aunt whom I secretely suspect is afraid of silences. She always has to talk about something or someone with somebody. I find I gossip more when I am around her and I don't like it. it gives me a headache (believe ot or not) and I always feel like I have done something wrong. As someone who has done alot of wrongful talking in her life, I am trying to practice the Laws of Silence; where I speak unless i absolutely have to and the utmost truth at that.

2. I don't like alot of light. People think I put off lights to save on the electric bill but it's just that I like shadows. In the shadows, you cannot see my face clearly and thus you cannot tell exactly what I am thinking. And in the shadows, I can conjur up images of my perfect place and immerse myself in it. With the lights on, the glaring realities of my environment are sometimes too much to bear.

3. I love easily, I hurt easily, I forgive easily but I do not forget.

4. I don't bear grudges...for long. It is physically and emotionally exhausting for me to dislike people.

5. I speak my mind and can be blunt and in some instances, tactless. I just want you to know what to expect from me...to some extent.

6. I have a phobia of smells. I have started using men's cologne because it is stronger. i brush after every meal and chew minty gum so much, I fear I might have damaged my enamels. i just fear that people will say that I am smelling and no one will tell me and yet everyone will talk about it. I have an aunt with horrible bad breath, even after she had brushed and I try not to sit too close to her.

7. I love food. It's almost disgusting. I can be mad depressed and once I eat, I feel better. Food is my comfort. My weight blows up and down. I fluctuate from an 8 to a 4 from time to time. I am trying to find other ways to channel my frustrations or to calm my worries. Blogging has been one of such ways.

8. My greatest fear is failure. Failure to build what I dream. I calm myself by telling myself that "God would not have gifted you with the ability to dream and think the way you do, only so that you can desire a certain accomplishment all your life". Sometimes, that helps to calm me and when that doesn't work, I pray. And when that doesn't work, I eat.

9. I watch all sorts of things on television. From porn to foreign films. I have always loved tv.

10. I crush on guys alot and almost as quickly, i loose interest.

11. I wouldn't call myself beautiful. And I never have. I maintain however that there are two basic types of girls. Those that compete in the beauty pageants and those that produce and direct the show. I am the director. My beauty is in my mind, my thoughts, words and actions.

12. I love my butt. It was the one thing I always loved about myself. Though, its size fluctuates based on my weight.

13. I am going to be a great in three fields: Architecture, Film/Theatre and Fashion. I know it and I believe it.

14. I have never had a "real" boyfriend. Sometimes, i don't like it but most times I am okay about it. As I get older though, I fear I might not be able to function in a relationship as I am so used to doing things for and by myself. I have always had problems sharing. Not material things. But myself or my life. The things that matter most to me, I keep to myself. Thus, very few people really know me.

15. People have told me that I am funny. I sometimes fear they laugh "at" me and not "with" me.

THE DAY CATWALQ WAS CREATED....

2007-07-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

GOD FLICKS HIS WAND... ( in the Nigerian Part of heaven)

CATWALQ: (GASPING) WOW, WHERE AM I?

ANGEL INSPECTOR: well u r at the manufacturing facility. u just got made. here is your spare-parts sheet. As you receive your parts and functions, u get the dispatcher to tick them off. oya,come down.

CATWALQ: (ACCEPTS THE PAPER AND CLIMBS OUT OF THE POD)

SIX OR SEVEN HOURS LATER (TOWARDS THE END OF THE WORKING DAY)

CATWALQ: (WALKING ABOUT, COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY) wow, oh my God...look at that...and that...and that... wow. my goodness. wonder what that is...hello, bye, excuse me...wow...

SOME RANDOM SOULS LIKE THIS: Hello, what is ur name.

CATWALQ: catwalq. what are yours?

RANDOM SOUL 1: random soul 1

SOUL II: random soul II. where u just made?

CATWALQ: no oo, i was made this morning (notices an exchanged glance) why, what is it?

SOUL II: why r you incomplete? are your parts made to order?

CATWALQ: what do u mean?

RS1: look around. u notice anything?

CATWALQ: (LOOKS AROUND. REALISES SOMETHING IS AMISS) everyone looks different. what is going on?

RS1: u were supposed to make the rounds at the departments and collect your things. What do u have tamped on your paper?

SOUL II: what were u told that the paper floating around your head was for?

CATWALQ: Oh gosh, I completely forgot...

SOUL II: (RETRIEVING PAPER) mm-hmn, obviously. all she has is speech. no brain, no limbs, no eyes...nothing (TO RS1) am even surprised she has not fallen into a ditch all day.

RS1: (TO CATWALQ) where have u been? what were u doing? what were u thinking?

SOUL II: I must say that that last question is quite daft considering her brain item is not ticked...

RS1: shut up!

CATWALQ: (STARTS TO CRY...NO TEARS COME...NO GLANDS). what am I going to do? what is going to happen to me.

SOUL II: I guess, u can be one of the cleaners here...shucks. u need limbs for that.

RS1: Soul, waka far, right now....

SOUL II: (walks away chuckling)

RS1: (LOOKING AT THE PAPER): let's see. where r u being sent to?

CATWALQ: (HICCUPPING) I think to Yorubaland by way of Benin.

RS1: it says here that u r going to be a girl, so let's first make sure that u have those parts covered.

AT THE HEIGHT AND FORM DEPARTMENT

HEIGHT ANGEL: ah, sorry o. i just gave the last few inches to that one going. If u can come back tomorrow, maybe they would have brought a new batch of clay.

RS1: what about all these ones in the basket?

HEIGHT ANGEL: abi, u wan put me for trouble. no be d same place dem dey go. na d one wey remainder from since more-reen, na im dey dere. see dis yansh, as e big so, the leg wey co carry am don finish. see this hand, look am, u see sey the colour na one kain. i don tell u say i don finish d one for toh-day. if una come tomorrow, i fit find proper one for u.
when dem say make u comot?

CATWALQ: this night.

HA: abi, dem give u something chop? where u bin dey since more-reen?

RS1: no mind am o. as im collect im voice, na tori im knack till im waka go d other side. na for brain department we just dey commot since. dey even don pack commot for office.

HA: na wah o. oya, make I look my supplies. I fit get weting I go combine, make im face no kill im mama when e land.

(they burst into laughter)

CATWALQ: are u mocking me? I have a feeling that I am being ridiculed.

HA: shuo. na oyinbo pikin?

RS1: no o, dem just talk say, im go go school.

HA: dosgbe. I don see like five hundred today wey go go school. na so all of them dey knack English for here. One of them even vex me sef, na im make me wan keep im left leg. I con remember my former oga wey try am one time, na devil shit in dey take hand carry.

RS1: o ti o

HA: oya, Cattie-qwal, abi wetin be ur name?

RS1: (TO CATWALQ) he is talking to you

HA: leave am. im battery neva charge complete. e go slow for some time. oya take. manage this one. I no tink say u go too tall. but as u be woman, u go take koko shoe correct am.

To be continued.

That fateful day...

2007-07-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

Venue: Eck African Seminar, PH, Nigeria, August 2000
Catwalq is at the Seminar Services desk welcoming people. Both Francophone and anglophone.

French Guy: Allo

Catwalq: Hello, Bienvenue.

French Guy: Oh, Merci, ou est le bureau de change (where is the bureau de change?) I here, Ivory Coast. No naira.

Catwalq( nodding seriously): Excusez moi, je ne parle pas francais. un moment ( i am sorry, I don't speak french. One moment. let me get someone)

Catwalq: eh, Naija French Speaking Bobo, can you please help this guy from Ivory Coast? You speak french abi?

NFSB: yes, where is he from?

Catwalq: Ivory Coast.

NSFB: Aaah, Cote D'voire.

Catwalq: No, Ivory Coast.

NSFB: (tone very superior and patronising) yes, cote d'voire is french for Ivory Coast.

French Guy: (nods in agreement. looks at catwalq funny)

Catwalq: (looks at ground. it doesn not open. Counts number of witnesses: about twelve)

2007-07-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

I thought I was in love. I was knocking twenty and had never had a boyfriend. I desperately wanted this to be real. My adoloescence was leaving me and retreating to a distant memory devoid of all the silliness and carefree living that all my girlfriends had experienced.

Whilst they were swooning over improperly penned love letters and saccharine sweet romantic dalliances, I was poring over university brochures and countless novels. I was always odd amongst my friends even though I fit in with the crowd. Fiercely outspoken and intensely imaginative, I always wished that I too could have a very generic type tale to tell whenever my friends and I gathered for a hang. I never did. Even as I feverently prayed that things would change.

He was everything I wanted in a man. I was young, had no references against which I could compare him but I knew he was what I wanted. He was intelligent, suave and extremely funny. He and I shared a kin sense of humour. He got my jokes. I got his jokes. We read the same books. He was intrigued by all the things that I told him I had seen as well as those that I was planning to see. He lived alone, was working after having sailed through school abroad (where I wanted to go) on a scholarship (like I wished for). His mother was the woman I wanted to be when I grew up. His sister was an architect like I was planning to be. He was a youth leader and advisor in church.

He was tall, and his black skin shone like only a man from the river belt could. His hands were large but gentle; I knew because anytime he touched me, whether just to get my attention or to help me after I slipped in shoes that were not made for walking, I burned the feeling in my mind; my unexplored desires bubbling up to the surface like the inferno of a volcano.

My mother noticed it. Maybe because she had never seen me that animated around anyone before. neither had she seen me suddenly taken with my appearance. i was suddenly worried if he had seen whatever I was planning to put on that day. For the first time in my life as a female I fantasized about what it would mean if we could nurture our relationship till when it was right and we got married, what my first name would sound like next to his. Luckily, my mother was half itsekiri, half Yoruba, so I had access to and experience with his culture. i wondered if I could endure the dressing. I started trying my hands out at preparing what I had deduced was his favorite dish.

I confided in my best friend who was stunned that I felt that way. I had been pegged in school as the "most likely to beat up her husband herself". I hadn't liked the title but I was kind of glad that people were able to deduce that I was a no-nonsense person. My friend got to work trying to find out if he was involved with anyone. He was 25 going on 35 and I was 19 going on 30. We were going to be perfect together.

Then, at a party that I had spent ages getting ready for cos he was going to be there, he introduced me to his girlfriend. I died as I shook her hand. That was the day that I knew without a doubt that I had a chance at acting. My mother was sure she had been hallucinating about me and my friend felt she had imagined our past conversations about him. The girlfriend was perfect. She was just the kind of woman I knew he would have picked. She was funny, lively and very beautiful. I hated her because I liked her alot. He watched for my reaction, like he was anxious for me to accept her. He introduced me to her as his baby sister. he was the last child of his mother and so, he had always been the baby. Everyone thought that was cute. My stomach was churning.

Why would he want you? I asked myself. You are too fat, too dark, too short, stoo chatty, too young....every flaw I felt one could have, I drummed up as a reason why he could not be mine. I was so pained, i was numb. I began to tell myself that what they had would not last. I wondered if I prayed, maybe God would bring him to ME. Then, I realised that was an insult to God and to him. he was happy, clearly that is why God had brought him and her together. I even fell ill. My mother blamed it on my erractic eating habits. She tried to talk to me, to get me to talk to her. I brushed her worries aside and blamed it on my quest for admission. She bought it. i was studying for A levels, Jamb and SATs. I had alot on my plate.

Maybe, they would not last. Maybe... I'll wait.

I am sitting in front of my computer. His email is short as usual and filled with all I want to hear,except... he as proposed and she has accepted.

With Whom am I to be vexed?!!!!

2007-06-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

Na so God take internship bless me dis summer after I don pray tire. For those who don't know, that means that I have to register my internship as a class as the American government will not allow me to work. I mean at 23, still requiring pocket money is grounds for all sorts of disrespect. E remain small, I almost comot my aunty pikin head when e ask me when I go pack comot from im mama apartment go my own; afterall, all the other women wey im sabi get am for car and house. me I just dey dey watch tv all day.

So anyways, back to my internship story. I now rallied around and generated the $500+ to register the course( i mean I have to pay to work) and went to almost five buildings (one of them does not count cos it is a renovated container/trailer) just to get signatures, documents, stamps, u-name-ity so that my immigration documents will show that I am allowed to work. The firm sef don tell me say, I gats to get it all done by Friday if I want to get paid so I was flying up and down in the bastard hot sun. At the final stage, the international students services office, as I awaited the advisor to put me in the SEVIS system. one of my guys from Trinidad and Tobago was commenting that I it might be a better idea to walk around with a bucket instead of a handkerchief, because it was like I swam into the office in my own sweat. Na im I laugh kon tell the guy say "My broda, dis country is precious o". We come begin laugh all the many "interesting" things Yankee gets to offer international students.

Apparently the exec assistant (or something like that was listening; she is American). Na im she come ask me if university dey my country? I look the woman, I look my friend.
"Pardon?"
"I was just curious to know if y'all got colleges back in your own country." she open mouth explain herself. I blink once, where she dey carry dis one go?
"Yes," My friend too answer. Im even talk say for im own country,university is now free. ( I see pple hopping to the Trini embassy in Lagos now)
Na im dis woman come slap me and my friend without lifting her hand.
"I mean, for all of you who choose to come here for an education," na she dey talk am dey go o, "and y'all complain so much, why don't you stay back in your country? I mean if America is so bad, why don't you stay in your own home?"

Ladies and gentlemen, has anyone ever talked true (excuse d english but I am writing my thoughts verbatim) and the thing pain u to the point way tears form but shame no gree make dem fall? Na so the woman's words come be like dat kin dirty water wey pepper sellers dey throw-way for market. I mean, she is goddamn right!

Why should I be relegated to a numerical identity all because I seek an education and an environment that rewards my efforts accordingly, allows me to explore all my talents and become the best I can be? Why, if not that the alternative is an invigilator refusing me my exam papers after my parents had spent thousands on a private tutor and I, many sleepless nights preparing for my JAMB, all because I refused to "settle" like everyone else in the class? Why should I have to flee my father's land cos as an outspoken woman, I might say something to offend someone in a cult and he/she/they will organise to have what limbs I escaped Igbobi with? Why did I have to flee to a country whose currency's exchange rate to the naira was once 2:1? Why did I have to be up at 4 am to make the 6 am line at the embassy bearing documents endorsing all my family's property; property which on average, their pple cannot boast off? Why do Americans have the misconception that upon discovering that I am Nigerian, i must be wealthy/ Afterall, most of the others they have met, live large, don't work and are the offspring of government officials.

I was very embarrassed by the woman's question and I could not tell her that in as much that she, her government and her fellow citizens seek ways to humiliate me and my people everyday we remain on their land, it is not as bad as the degradation my people face each day at the hands of their own motherland blood. Even as each day passes and graduation becomes less of an illusion and more of a glaring reality, I ask myself, will there be a place for me at home when I return? If there is, will I be able to be a productive and effective member of society? If there isn't, then with whom am I to be vexed?!!!!

I THINK

2007-06-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

i think I need a boyfriend.
Or just maybe a lover.
No, I think I need a boyfriend. I am fed up of these few and far between unsubstantiated dalliances. Ladies and gentlemen, I need to find my Sheik now!!!!
*sigh* This is what watching Oxygen and Lifetime does to you. Then when you add a full dosage of a string Bollywood hits where women effortlessly have hot men (who dance "questionably")pining and singing after them just because they wore a wet saree, you suddenly start wishing for your own bollywood story.
What story am I to tell?
Where is my stash of M & Bs?

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

No wonder I am lonesome. My blog life even sucks men. I am not edgy enough. U know what things are about to change

Mummy and I

2007-06-01T10:15:00.001-07:00

Over the phone. Time: 6.30 am(my time), 12.30 pm(her time)

Mummy: hello, hello, hello...Catwalq?

Me(slurred): Yes, hello, mummy

Mummy: Where have you been? Did you not see any of my missed calls? I left you five messages.

Me: By the time I saw them, it was too late for me to call you.

Mummy: I was very worried. It's not like you to go missing like that.

Me: Why? I was not missing. Did I not just speak to you like yesterday? The phone was on vibrate. What is going on?

Mummy: I should ask you that. How are you feeling? I hope you have not started eating stupidly again. You know you don't take dissappointments well.

Me: What?

Mummy: Don't 'what' me. I heard you over the phone asking for the "largest drink that they had."

Me: Mum, it was a soda. I have told you I don't drink alcohol.

Mummy: And I always thank the lord because kani u did ni, that will be what you will be using to drown your issues like all those...

Me: (cutting in) Mummy it is about six in the morning...

Mummy: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: Nothing, I...
Mummy: I should get off the phone for you? (voice has risen)

Me: No I did not say that, I am just like...

Mummy: And here I have been worrying myself sick; making calls trying to see how I can get you some money even if it is only five hundred and your are asking me to get off your phone?

Me: I did... (mo daran/ I am in trouble now)

Mummy: You were the one hungering to go to the US to study and now all these issues. First with your cousin, me loosing my job and this internship we had so banked upon getting lost. Do you think I like what you and your brother are going through?

Me: I am sorry.

Mummy: Well, if you do not want to talk to me, then you hang up. I don't know why you called me and told me that the programme did not work out if you did not want to talk with me about it.

Me: I always call you first...

Mummy: Hang up now, se I am bothering you (voice is soft and childlike...emotional blackmail mode switching into gear, tread softly)

Me: Mumm...

Mummy: I called, maybe we can pray together. I sent your brother to go and put credit on the phone and I was waking up every hour to try and reach you but you sound like you have everything under control so u can go.

Me: I am sorry. I did not mean to be rude. I was just scared when you said you had been trying to find me. (placating and cajolling) You know that I always want to talk to you. You can call me anytime even if it is in the middle of the night.

Mummy: That is what you always say but apparently it is not true. Otherwise you would have picked up all my calls.

Me: The phone was on vibrate.

Mummy: I do not know why you have a cell phone if you do not pick up.

Me: The phone was on vibrate.

Mummy: God forbid there should be an emergency.

Me: The phone was on vibrate.

Mummy: (silence)

Me: (silence)

Mummy: (silence)

Me: (silence)

Mummy: (to someone in the background; probably my brother) abi omo yi i ti hang up ni? (Or did this child hang up on me?)

Me: Hellooo mum, am still here o

Mummy: I was about to say. The slap I would have sent your way would have set your brain aright...hang up on me...o o to be (you will not dare)

Me: (agreeing) Lai lai. So what's up?

Mummy: Nothing. I just wanted to see if there had been any development with your dean.

Me: Sort of. He has been making calls and calling in favours trying to get me a placement. I have wasted three weeks and though that is not good, I am very hopeful.

Mummy: (sigh) And I know you have no money

Me: Yes

Mummy: (exclaims) Heeey!!! Olorun joo ( God please)

Me: Don't worry, I am fine.

Mummy: U are still at your aunt's house?

Me: Yes.

Mummy: Please tell her that only God can thank her for me for all she has done for us. I hope you are behaving yourself and helping her keep her house well. Don't say because she lets you that you will eat all her food. Remember what you looked like when ypu were fat...and your health.

Me: Yes, mummy. (changing the topic) What are you doing?

Mummy: I am going to Akure to go meet your dad. There is a spiritual seminar. We have to tackle all our issues from all sides. A family that prays together...

Me: ...belongs to the same faith

Mummy: U r really quite stupid.

Me: Sorry. I am just saying.

Mummy: Well, that is one. I have just paid the rent. Your daddy brought what he could, I ran around and so we have settled the landlord, three months later.

Me: Thank God, now no shaking.

Mummy: Yes O. Oh, and we have a new president.

Me: I know, Uncle Yara on-the-dialysis-machine.

Mummy: Haaaa, Catwalq-i, only God will forgive you.

Me: But that is what they said, and there were pictures to back it up. I even heard that he collapsed and had to be rushed to Germany.

Mummy: Where are you hearing all these things?

Me: On the internet

Mummy: Is that what you are doing with your time?

Me: Yup. for now. abi, what else do I have doing but eating, browsing the net and watching movies telling myself that I can write a better script.

Mummy: You better start writing that script so you can sell it and send you and your brother to school so that your father and I can sleep in peace. We are not young any more, if you don't know. I should marry you off and collect bride price but with your intelligence only God knows what I will be able to get.

Me: That will be your fault having kids in your late thirties. You guys have always been old meen.

Mummy: enu e( your mouth)

Me: About our presie, I heard that he is the first in that position to hold a collegiate degree.

Mummy: o ti o (na lie)

Me: Yes o. na so we see am.

Mummy: I mean, I knew Baba Iyabo did not go to school but what about Zik and others.

Me: Ibo ni wan to fe ri? (where would they have found one to attend?) which others, Abacha or Shagari?

Mummy: May be he will be able to better manage this administration

Me: Let us pray that he is. Is Omo Mummy (younger bro) going with u?

Mummy: No, we can't all go. Saving up for the portharcourt seminar.

Me: Ok

Mummy: What about Bomboy Rascal?( Aunty's seven yr old son)

Me: Sleeping. No one is up yet. they should be actually

Mummy: ehn ehn

Me: poor boy, aunty ti kanran mo omo naa titi wan lo sun last night ( aunty was irritable towards him till they went to bed last night)

Mummy: ki lo sele? (what happened)

Me: His friends told his mum that he did well in the class math quiz and she was ecstatic until she realised that he got 14 out of 21. She nearly bit his head off when he started singing along with Rihanna on the radio. She thought he got a hundred percent and found out his grade infront of the other parents who were also eager to hear what he got with the way his classmates were advertising and endorsing him.

Mummy: Aaah, eeyah. How did his classmates get involved?

Me: I did not tell you that Bomboy had gone to school to tell them that he was an African prince and heir to a throne?

Mummy: Eh-eh (bursts out laughing) but in a way it is true. He will just have to kill about three hundred families before he can get to the throne of Lagos.

Me: He now has supporters and subjects probably hoping to relocate to the Africa from Coming-to-America.

Mummy: Hun? What does that mean?

Me: Coming To America? Eddie Murphy? Zimunda? Can't you remember?

Mummy: What?

Me: The movie where he was an African prince who came to the US looking for a bride.

Mummy: Ehn-ehn, yes

Me: You have no idea what I am talking about, do you?

Mummy: No

Me: Well, they created this Africa of perfection.

Mummy: Ehn-ehn ( getting lost in the conversation)

Me: When are you leaving for Akure?

Mummy: When I get off this phone, Omo Mummy will take me to the bus park. Infact, I should be off now. Seems like you holding strong.

Me: Where r u going to? After waking me up from sleep. I was dreaming that I was dating a rich and powerful sheik who built a house of gold and diamonds for me...u better stay and gist with me.

Mummy: Oniranu (useless person), I hope you memorized his number so you can call him to come and fix your financial worries...wo, (look) I am going now, ok

Me: So, you don't want to talk to me, Okay o hang up now.

Mummy: Do you want to talk to your brother before all the credit is gone? (to my brother) you want to talk to your sister?

Me: No, tell him that he is an ugly mushueshue but I love him and he should hang on

Mummy: (repeats the message)
He said you are a goat.

Me: It is not his fault. If I was there, I would bless him with a hot slap.

Mummy: You better have a ladder because there is no way you will reach his face. Short rat.

Me: (gasp, feigned hurt) U are so mean

Mummy: (evil chuckle) My child, don't worry ehn, everything will work out. God is not asleep on us. Take care, ehn

Me: Amen...are you going to leave me here after disrupting my sleep?

Mummy: Bye joo

Me: U are going to hang up?

Mummy: Yes. Love you. Be strong. You are not alone. Remember that you must pray. That is the only way we will get through this faze

Me: So u r going to hang up?

Mummy: *hiss* bye jare, ok, bye. (hangs up)

The scourge of anonymity

2007-05-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

Lately, blogs that I love have been bombarded with some literary deviants posting rude and senseless comments under the name "Anonymous". While I am an advocate of free speech and I am always open to listen to opinions other than mine, I would like to ask that people refrain from using blog commentary as a means to defame someone's character.

If u don't know how to say what u feel in an intelligent and educated way, then keep quiet and move on. If I do not like something, I try to say it as politely as I can. Heaping curses and insults on someone ( whom you apparently do not know) is a characteristic of a lack of good upbringing. And that is why Naija cannot move forward because most of you with complaints are so busy insulting others and not proferring any solutions to what u consider the problem...

Racquelle-Cutie, Bella Naija and Babaalaye have had their blogs made victim to this waste of words. Let me say this: Not everything you read on a blog is true and so for those who have built this fantasy in their heads about whom the individuals behind blogs are, you might be pleasantly/ unpleasantly surprised to find out that the person is just an aspiring writer, scrimping and saving his income to pay for time at the cyber cafe so that he/ she can post his thoughts and ideas online.

Let's blog free and happy. Take from the writers the things that you can apply to your everyday life and progress with it. Some offer us humor as their all purpose elixir; others, their take on current events or their analysis of an issue of interest. I love blogging and reading what I like to consider the creativity of some of the brightest minds my country has to offer. If you do not agree, it is your right to do so. But as in all things we have to have some modicum of decorum and personal ethics when we sit at a keyboard and manifest our thoughts into words.

Remember (if we are to take the bible as a source), it was spoken words that manifested life.
The written word is just as powerful.

Dear Mrs. Jolade Ekeinde,

2007-05-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching one of your movies "The Woman In Me" and I can rightfully say that you have put my over inflated impression of my butt to shame. What I used to shake with pride are mosquito bites compared to what you are carrying. I am a woman but GAD DAMN!!!!
I will appreciate it if you can tell me what it is that is part of your diet to result in that contraption that escorts you everywhere you go. I mean, you were in profile and had moved two frames across the screen and your derriere was still coming after you.
I am not even sure what the movie was about though it came in two parts and four cds. My aunt and I just spent over an hour discussing how we can elevate our "defense" status in the general direction of your stats.
We would appreciate any assistance towards the attainment of our above stated goal.
Thank you in anticipation of a favourable reply
Sincerely,
Catwalq
1-800-BUTT-GROW

Discard with...

2007-05-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

No worries. Rayo gave me the hook up and so all the blogs that I stalk on a daily basis are listed on your right...

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP

2007-05-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Can someone please show me how to create links to other blogs. U know, like on the side of your page where u can list all your fave blogs and u just click on them and be connected right through.
I have tried everything; maybe my eyes are not working but I cannot find anything in my settings to get it done.
Ehn, Biko nu

DARE OBASANJO AND HIS BREED OF IGNORANCE

2007-05-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

I do not know if you are familiar with this picture/post and ensuing hulla-balloo http://grandioseparlor.com/2007/04/a-presidential-servant/. I am sorry that I have not yet figured out how to make short links to other posts. However:

Dare Obasanjo ( son of our about-to-be ex president) posted a picture of a domestic servant in the employ of his father at the presidential villa. the man looked dejected and deprived. the room in which he sat lacked even the most basic amenities required to make a room look like it was lived in. A mattress covered with a faded sheet of floral fabric lay on the floor and the man sat next to it under a window. In the caption under the picture, Dare referred to him as a "servant". The world took notice and people in blog ville started shouting.

I was not surprised that he had called the man a servant. The word servant has been made derogatory by man. God is the greatest servant of all but man has succeeded in dehumanising those who are in his service.

What I was more surprised about was that a servant living in our presidential villa looked like a homeless person and that Dare's comment on the backlash following the posting was that he hoped he had given people a chance to vent and that he was amused that they were all so concerned even though they had "abandoned their country".

I am glad this is a blog because in that one moment of reading that statement, resentment and disgust flooded my insides. I was not angry at him but rather at myself and the rest of my brethren. When we let thieves and rogues populate our senate, house of assemblies and gubernatorial positions, destroy our infrastructure and cause us to become second class citizens in foreign lands in our quest for peace and better futures, what do we expect as intellect from one of their children?

His father likes to think that he has done a lot of good and taken our country to another level. Yes he has. He has surrounded himself with alot of ass-kissing criminals that shade his view of how much the country has fallen apart and promoted the legalization of corruption. He is never quite aware of the gravity of the situation. Does anyone remember January 2002 when the explosions happened at the Barracks in Lagos and our dear president showed up surrounded by his retinue of imbecilic ministers and protocol officers completely decked in expensive lace to shout at the devastated families that he did not need to be there when they bombarded him with their cries of distress. Twenty minutes later, he was whisked away to another part of the country where he was wined and dined to the glory of his position and it was only when he saw the backlash that he was given a complete picture of what had happened and he issued a public apology. He has always had an over inflated view of himself (claiming he had to wait for God's directive to run for re-election; is he the only one that talks to God?) and so he has been easy to push to the role of a figurehead kept complacent and occupied with people who come to heap false praises at his feet. I wonder when he realised that he was seriously disgracing himself and his country taking international trips like no business and did any one ever hear the gists of Stella's pilferring.

Dare might not know and then again he might. Irrespective, he has been desensitized towards the bigger picture which is shame because I know for a fact that his father started off as a soldier and thus was not always wealthy. What makes me panic is that it is people like him that will be handed the reigns of the country by all their connections whilst those of us that really want to make a difference and just simply want a country where your efforts are rewarded equally and your aspirations have a chance of being realised.

My parents really were not going to send me abroad. The money was not there and at this moment, it still isn't and our prayers always ask for a legal miracle. After my mother witnessed how I was blackballed at my JAMB examination because I refused to pay the invigilators, she saw how futile her and my father's efforts to raise my brother and I in Nigeria to be upstanding and honest citizens were going to be. I left with money generated from the sale of our only house. I left as the older one to try and make a way for my family. I did not desert my country. It had no future ahead for me if at one point in time, I did not want to be caught up in social infrastructure failure, corruption and bribery, sexual harassment with no laws to defend my honour, marriage to fufil societal obligations and an every day struggle. I left because I wanted to know that there was a place were effort was rewarded in its exact proportions.

The white man's land is not really better. It has very little history that was not dependent upon the destruction and sabotage of others.

I am going to return. I only beg God that when I do, I do not have to deal with the Dare Obasanjos, his father's generation or others of the same breed of ignorance and self serving attitudes

2007-04-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

So, i woke up way too early today to attend a luncheon organised and sponsore by LINKS. An women's only organisation. Imagine AKA meets church group. I mean white tights and ankle length skirts, huge corsages and a choice of either coiffed or wind blown hair.

As I was saying...because myself and the two girls representing the international student body at the university did not have cars we had to hitch a ride with one of then organisation's members who had to be there about two hours before the event itself had to begin.

We arrive and the three of us are nearly paralysed to realise that the average age in the room is between 55 and 60. And also, they had not yet set up so we found ourselves having to help out. Hoisting foldable chairs in four inch hills is not an experience I want to repeat.
Plus we stood out something bad...the three of us: One trinidadian in a halter dress and fuck-me pumps, the other in a i-go-to-church-but-only-to-see-if-I-can-jump-the-pastor's-bones kinda dress and finally moi in a green and black ensemble complete with gele reminiscent of a candidate for Ovation's middle pages.

then the maintenance guys were trying to hit on all three of us at the same time; like I am just hot to jump in bed with someone whose stomach puts an eight month pregancy to shame. YummieAnyways, two hours and fifty times introducing myself (talking slowly and saying my name, school, major and country) later the event starts.

Students from two other colleges in the district have arrived and so we have brought down the age average to about 45. Was no mean fit too. If we had been short even as little as two people, we would not have made it.

The highlight of the event was not the ear drum splitting Nigerian opera singer in her mismatched blue lace (with silver detail) and bright orange Aso Oke...No, it was the talk given by the guest speaker, Faida Mitifu; Ambassador The Democratic Republic of Congo.

She spoke so eloquently on her country, its past and what it aspired for the future. What it had gone through under a 20 year long dictatorship and the ensuing wars it had to suffer to free itself; what it meant that 86% of eligible voters participated in the past election to intstall the current president after factions had been torn apart.

I was even more shamed when she talked about what women in the Congo had endured as victims of the war: suffering physical and horrendous sexual abuse at the hands of various militia and I had only been minutes before thinking about where I was going to get the money to get another pair of shoes. Anyways, the event was quite nice and enlightening.

Trust Americans and their fear of fire, salt and pepper. the meat had pink in it. I looked at it and gasped out loud. The chef pleased at my "obvious" delight at his masterpiece smiles and tells me "It is medium rare lamb chops.

I smiled and slowly moved forward towards the sweet rolls. If man was supposed to eat raw animals, we would still be living next door to brother lion and sister leopard and fire would be an aspiration.

Where I found myself online

2007-04-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

http://arablady.blogspot.com/
I really cannot tell you how I got to this lady's website. All I know was that I had somehow begun reading abput life in Dubai. A place to which I am trying to organize a year long study abroad programme.
It is amazing to me how all the laws out there benefit the man and inhibit the woman and if someone there tells me a story abour Adam and Eve, I will slap you. that is just to show u that Adam was a mugu. Just chopping everything handed to him. Luckily the first one to learn how to read and write started to put things in order to ensure that his muguness did not land him in too much trouble.
For all that did...look at the world today

BOLLYWOOD STALKING

2007-04-24T10:19:00.000-07:00

So I got a call today about getting my laptop fixed. Missed the call and called the guy back. Then came the call from DELL from tech support which is apparently in India. You know that your company is the shit when your customer service reps are in another country and English is their second language.

So, I was trying to find out if it was the same guy i had initially spoken to and to whom I had been unneccessarily rude so that I could apologise when before I knew it, I was embroildered in a conversation of one of my guilty pleasures: BOLLYWOOD. I found myself talking for almost ten minutes with this guy whose name I don't know, swapping critics of films I had seen.

The next thing, the desi asks if he can log into my computer from India ( they can apparently do that so they can fix whatever is wrong). Idiot (me) too replied yes, thinking that since the initial conversation had begun about a fault with the computer, then that was what he was trying to get back to.

He then asks me if I had pictures of myself on my laptop.....ALARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I clumsily warded him off using the excuse that as a design student, most of the pictures on my laptop would be of my projects and scanned floor plans. This guy tells me that he will check me out on FACEBOOK.

So, guys, if you do not hear from me it is because I have been kidnapped and taken to Bangalore/Calcutta/New Delhi/ Mumbai or wherever the desi is residing.

Lesson: No unnecessary conversations to people you do not know. i guess I was uncharacteristically (hope that is the correct spelling) in need of a conversation.

Till next time, NAMASTE

My laptop and I

2007-04-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

My laptop and I began our relationship in 2005. We have been through so much together over the past two years and he has put up with alot from me. He has borne the burden of running at least four cad softwares at the same time. Stayed up 48 hrs straight with me and apart from a few hiccups and colds, my baby has stood by me.

Last month, despite contracting an inhibiting virus and being in need of a transfusion, my baby limped along and worked with me to produce my project.

Today, my baby has gone deaf. His speakers are out and even when I connect headphones to him, there is no sound because the connection's grip is cracked. What have I done to my baby? I know I have fallen asleep and spilled glue all over his keys, slapped the monitor all the way backwards, dropped the bag in which he is carried, downloaded unspeakable images and videos unto his memory (and probably scarred him for life), listened to the same song over and over and over (and I mean song not songs), neglected him when I had no homework, shut him down abruptly because I was impatient with his speed of response but now I am so lonely without him.

Well he is fully functional oh (don't let me sepe for myself and he will kukuma pack up and refuse to work...he has done that before; and I need him. Have finals meeen) but he cannot speak to me and I cannot hear him.

Thus, in design class today, I had no choice but to listen to the sounds of the world around me. Sounds that previously, I would have blocked out with my pilot style Bose headphones.

I was wondering why I was having a headache and then I realised that instead of listening to Ali Angel croon to me in french (which I do not speak)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR6PGZaEb0A or Minmi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfrVhba7vhA

perform in Japanese ( also cannot speak but I will learn if it means I get to jump Ken Watanabe's

http://img.timeinc.net/time/asia/2005/heroes/images/373_watanabe.jpg

bones); I was listening to my classmates singing out loud in many tones and pitches that resembled nothing of what the original songs were.

So, I am lonely and waiting for the DELL tech guy (who is apparently based in INDIA) to send out a tech dispatch to someone in the states to come and fix my laptop.

Till then, my sweet, we can only see we cannot speak.

They should sha hurry up.

check this out

2007-04-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

And like Ms Funmi Iyanda
http://fiyanda.blogspot.com/ I am now addicted to the Bella Naija Blog:
http://bellanaija.blogspot.com/
I usually post about three to four in rapid succession. Because that is when I have the time.
Enjoy and if you are Nigerian, bask in the online talents of your many Nigerian brethren who are using the internet to express themselves and release their thought into the universe

Nigerians why?

2007-04-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/news/article05
http://allafrica.com/stories/200704170357.html

Why do they keep doing this?
Are they even aware that the men and women orchestrating these riots and murders care for no one other themselves?
Has money become the new cancer eating and festering amongst us as a people?
What are we supposed to learn from this, Oh God?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am in Bollywood Mourning.

2007-04-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

IT IS OFFICIAL...ABHISHEK BACHAN IS OFF THE MARKET.

SIGH! SNIFF!! WAIL!!! WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

THIS HEIFFER HERE HAS THEIF-ED THIS MAN! IT IS NOT ENOUGH THAT SHE IS SO FINE, SHE HAD TO THIEF THE ONE FANTASY I HAVE BEEN NURSING...

NOW BEFORE YOU NIGERIANS START ABOUT ME NOT REPPING MY PEOPLE AND CRUSHING AFTER SOME BLACK MEN, WELL...AS IT IS, I JUST MIGHT BE IN THE MARKET FOR A REPLACEMENT.

REGARD MON BEAU HOMMME....(or something like that)

being broke

2007-04-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

i am so scared of running out of money.
I need someone to explain to me why the american government says foreign students cannot work off campus while in school. I really do because I quite sure that i am not stealing any jobs from americans. most of them do not want to work anyways.
what am i going to do?
i need money fast

FOOTBALLERS WIVES

2007-04-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am so in love with the series, it's unbelievable.
I have always preferred british soaps and Shed Productions http://www.shedproductions.com/, has never failed me with their productions. I was nearly disowned by my mother because I was basically useless around the house when Bad Girls was on and now, ladies and gentlemen, I have found a new obsession: FOOTBALLERS WIVES.
Where can I start. Let's just say that as usual America has realised once again that it really does not have the capacityh to produce good old fashioned soap series that it is now going to make a spin off of the show and probably milk it to death. Look at American Idol and you will see what I mean. But I say, I do not care which actresses they put, no one can take the place of Tanya Turner (Zoe Lucker)http://www.footballerswives.tv/characters/char_tt.html or Sal Biagi( Daniel Schutzmann)http://www.footballerswives.tv/characters/char_sb.html. I am so in love with the latter that I am even fantasizing about dating an italian( which he isn't actually) even though I have heard countless times that they are quite racist.
I have season one on DVD and two and three are on their way if only my www.amazon.com vendor will speed things up.
I am waiting to see the mess the american version is going to make. http://www.accessatlanta.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/accessatlanta/peachbuzz/entries/2007/03/16/gabrielle_union.html. Why can't you guys make an original idea that has not been rehashed to pieces? Ehn?

MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN/TWENTY ONE

2007-03-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

Now, I really need someone to respond to this blog.
Why is there an extension on the ridiculous MTV show: My Sweet Sixteen now, My Super Sweet Twenty-one.
As a struggling student, I have watched with a certain degree of disgust as upper class America over indulges the most ill mannered, ignorant and selfish teenage brats with parties and cars that even adults twice their age cannot afford to have.
I think what saddens me most about the whole thing is that these teens always say throughout the show " This is the best party/ gift/ car/ night/ whatever of my life". And you know what, something tells me that for most of them, it is never going to get any better. I mean what tops getting a Mercedes SL 550 Roadster at sixteen? I had to go check out the Mercedes website just to be sure I had heard that the car cost more than $50,000.
I am not sure what the producers were thinking and each episode gets even more disgusting as the next teen tries to outdo the previous show. Trips abroad to buy dresses are quite mundane and being rude to hired professionals seems like a major requirement to get your episode aired.
Ask me why I watch the show...I don't. I usually return from the architecture design studio at about 2 am in the morning and turn on the television for some muted light in my room.
Contrary to my friend's thinking, I am not allergic to lights. It's just that after sitting hunched over a desk for hours with efflorescent lighting burning down on me, I want some boudoir-esque lighting when I undress and get ready for bed. Thus, the television and thus MTV at 2/3 am in the morning - time for silly teenage reruns.
Another show, I actually watch when I catch it is, THE HILLS. I am still trying to figure out how these girls make the money they so much like to spend. And most of the guys sound slightly retarded and juvenile. i guess that is the appeal for Caucasian post-teen females.
I think I am going to the circus this weekend. It has apparently rolled into town. But I also need to get my hair done. what am I going to do?

Did anyone see?

2007-03-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

Did anyone see the BET Rip The Runway Show?
It sucked. I just attended the Howard University African Students Association Fashion Show NOIRE and that was much better than the lame and poorly choreographed show. It was so ghetto, I was disgusted. I guess that is what u get when u have a music video director direct a fashion show.
I finally was able to watch it as I am enjoying the struggling student's version of a spring break: remaining on campus and attending free events all over DC.
Yesterday, I went to see Courttia Newland at Georgetown University. First of all, if you do not have a car do not go to GU. There is no metro accessing there. It is like some old village. Got stares, my friends and I as we walked up two hils to get to the hall where the reading was to occur. I guess the site of us immediately alerted them to the fact that the black quota had been extremely exceeded.
So Courttia, a male writer from England ( the name is quite misleading) read from one of his books. I forgot that I was shocked that he was short and instead immersed myself totally in the quite seductive tone of his lilting british accent. I was so mesmersized, I spent $18.00 of the remaining $28.00 dollars in my checking account to by one of his books which I have fallen on with much ardour. So ladies and gentlemen, while I look for money for school and a job, I am reading THE SCHOLAR by COURTTIA NEWLAND. And it is bollocking good...or something british like that. Plus, I got two free t-shirts.
Still no holler-backs on the dubai issue....is anyone listening

what i have learned

2007-03-20T08:25:00.001-07:00

what are some of the things i have learned since my arrival in the states?
1. Americans have food but do not know what to do with it. If it has salt, it is spicy.
2. they eat everything with cheese: picture chicken and cheese; it is nasty looking, nasty smelling, nasty tasting and Americans love it.
3. Americans do not know where Africa is or that it is not a country
4. They are very "PATRIOTIC". That is why i write this blog under a different name so I do not get deported
5. Race is always an issue.
6. As a people they must have made God angry because he rewarded them with about four months of snow
7. You cannot get anything without credit and you cannot get credit without anything
8. They have loans for everything that you cannot get for anything
9. You can sue the clock manufacturing company if you slept through the alarm10. you can sue the brewery for your DUI
11. They loose weight on their on their diets because the food is even more tasteless than before...thus, they do not eat.
12. Anything with zero calories tastes like feet
13. Raising a child in this country is left to the internet, Nickolodeon and Disney
14. Don't offer to hold someone's child for them. You will be arrested for pedophillia. And if you are an African man, don't even dare to buy treats for a crying child (like you would at home to get them to stop crying): it interprets that YOU are the CAUSE for the "tears" and that you are trying to lure the child away for more "crying"
15. Only African Americans spank their children, beyond the view of security cameras
16. there is therapy for everything and support groups of every kind. Even blogging
17. I am in love with whoever created HBO
18. Desperate Housewives is a reality show. i have seen the people they play
19. Sex is not an issue. It is the only issue
20. Fourteen year olds know much more about sex than I do but nothing about its repercussions which I seem to have a lexicon of information of
.21. Race determines neighbourhood and in turn what amenities are available to you. Par example: DC buses stink, VA buses don't. DC buses stop for you where you ask, VA buses.....would you even dare to ask?
22. There is nothing on the news
23. There is really nothing on the local news
24. The "hungry" look is considered sexy.
25. White women do not have butts. they buy it from the plastic surgeon
26. Black people are usually late...like me. I am supposed to be researching something for my class and I am here blogging. Have to go...the man is coming: to hold me down
(27. That's a common thought among lazy black people)

Once More

2007-03-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

I had to start another blog because I all so brilliantly cannot access the other one I made, So I am going to cut and paste unto this one and hopefully I will be fine
Don't ask me why I cannot access the others, ask blog spot

Hello All,
I am formally announcing my arrival to the world of blogging. I am here to share with the world the knowledge I have amassed in the twenty three years of my existence.
I have however a few goals for the next year; and this blog will chronicle my successes and successes (obviously i refuse to entertain otherwise0 as I strive towards the attainment of these goals.
1. I need a job: Living in America is bloody expensive and someone somewhere thinks that as a foreigner I am going to be stealing jobs away from Americans if I work. Really? from what I have seen on tv, most of you cannot do the work that i do and I definitely know that the demographic in which I fall as an architecture student is not that wide that someone will be starving if some architect gives me his construction drawings to red line instead of them.

2. I want to go to the UAE for a year abroad and I am looking for sponsorship because according to my calculations, the cost of tuition is an extra six or seven thousand dollars more than the US. So ask me, if you are so broke, why go. Two reasons:
I am looking for an oil Sheik to become mistress to and
I am looking for an oil Sheik to become mistress to.
I am sure somehow, I will be educated coz actually I think I do have to stay in school to remain in the country but just think how cute I will be with 18 carat jewelry.
If you actually know anyone that might be interested in sending an African to the UAE, holler at your girl.
Just leave out the mistress part. tell them something along the lines of a cultural experience, the goodness of mankind, helping someone build a future et cetera et cetera...whatever rubs their Buddha.
So, we shall see in the days to come, if anyone at all does read this blog and can hook a sister up.

BANI PRODUCTIONS (THE MAKING OF...)

Use Your Bed Nets. Keep Mosquitoes out.

Lexus VCAM Submission...you can view it now

Lexus VCAM Submission

Silent Scandal

Happy Holidays

Thirst

The stoning of Soraya M

This is My Africa

Nnena Okore's first exhibit in Nigeria

What's on TV...Old, New and stuff I just discovered...haphazard records

Coming Soon....

Ghajini

A new year and a new set of projects

Someone to watch: Saheed Balogun

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

What I did yesterday instead of homework...the whole day

*Sigh*

Please fill out the survey

VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA VS BANGKOK DANGEROUS

Production Grants needed...

I need therapy

TOTURE, THY NAME IS "DARLING"

I just finished....

IRAPADA...Finally something for us to write home about

MONGOL...The anticipation

14th and Serenity/ Falling in love again with Chiewetel

COMING SOON....

COMING SOON....

Anambra bans condoms

L-Shandi; comment and vote

My latest project: Opportunity Africa

Children of Beslan: a documentary

A sister delivers......

Eta Inu courtesy Ijinleman

Desi craze: always make an evening of it

Post medical woes

Please watch and vote/ comment on Current TV

27 Dresses

Silence on the set.....

China in the House

Happy New Year

Kite Runner vs Moloka'i

I have played this song so much....

Anti-Corruption Day

DO YOUR BIT FOR NAIJA...NIGERIAN LIGHTHOUSE INITIATIVE

All hail Zhang Yimou

Movies, soundtrack and the female element

Just Do It

Where are you?

Do you know?

I made up my own meme...twenty random things I am thinking

When a queen fell...

Lace & Adire IV

Lace & Adire III

A TASTE OF YOU

Lace & Adire II

Lace & Adire

PAST LIVES, DREAMS & SOUL TRAVEL

23 is the new 16....

EASTERN PROMISES....therapy here I come

LOVE FOR SHARE

Just for me

Me+ life= 23 year old woman with the personality of a 45 year old

Beasts of No Nation

HUG ME

On a mission...

Maybe it's just me...

THE DAY CATWALQ WAS CREATED....

That fateful day...

With Whom am I to be vexed?!!!!

I THINK

Mummy and I

The scourge of anonymity

Dear Mrs. Jolade Ekeinde,

Discard with...

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP

DARE OBASANJO AND HIS BREED OF IGNORANCE

Where I found myself online

BOLLYWOOD STALKING

Sigh